Am I straight?

BEfore I start, I just want you guys know that English is not my native language and it's kinda bad :(. ALso, I'm drunk right now so.. sorry I guesss...I'm 23 year old virgin (yeah, I have never had sex because I'm such an awkward loser) guy and I do not know if I'm straight or gay and it really bothers me:(. LIke I have a lot of gay fantasies (about 90% of my fantasies are gay) where I'm total bottom bitch and part of me finds it just so hot if someone is in control and treats me like a piece of meat or something. And I have never found guys handsome, hot or whatever so it's kinda weird. Cocks are just so hot:/. And I've been thinking about buying a dildo but I don't know if I'm going to buy one. Maybe one day.. I know this messsage is kinda short but I just don't know if I should add something more.Sorry for venting :(.