Mind if I take a text dump?

Hi all. I'm Shrike (definitely not my real name) and I'm gay. And my shoulders are straining. Im one week away from being back to college after a month long Christmas break and I'm just so tired of my family. They're the worst when it comes to social issues. Basically they're staunch republicans that are extremely religious and believe 'choosing' to be gay is one of the worst things you could ever do short of murder. I'll try and bring you up to speed really quickly. I came out at the age of 15 ( I'm 23 now) and they told me that it was an abomination and disgusting and that they'd kick me out on the streets if I didn't apologize and 'go back to God'. A few years later they caught me with gay porn on my laptop and again the same things happened. Over the years I've finally been able to slowly come to terms with my sexuality and embrace myself thanks to some liberal friends who supported me emotionally. I've got a year left at college before I graduate and I'm just trying to survive until I can get out and move away but it's so hard living like this. I have nightmares all the time that my family find out and strip me of all my possessions and kick me out. I once had a dream where they tried to convince me to commit suicide so I wouldn't shame their name in the community ( I'm from the south. A family with a Snow White reputation). I've had 3-4 suicide attempts and I've had to call the Trevor Project hotline before. By the way they are such wonderful people. They kept me alive. I still don't always want to live but i am anyways. I'm just sick of it. Day in and day out I have to listen to my parents hate everyone who isn't straight white and Christian and it just makes me so upset. I just want to escape and tell them to rot in hell. But I'm scared I won't make it that long. It's like in Harry Potter when Harry is running down the maze towards the trophy but you know something is going to happen. Sorry for the text dump guys I'm just feeling shitty tonight.