Now I’m fat, and I’ll never find love...

I been dating this guy a little over 4 years. We both met online I thought of him as fun and smart but oh boy he was so much different once we moved in together. I guess I should mention that he’s 21, and I’m 28, at fist I thought it was gonna be great I really wanted that “gay life style” what I mean is great apartment clean and both in good health and working out. We did get a decent apartment, small but actually very neat cute apartment. We settled in got everything in place and everything seemed to be the way I always wanted it to be. Well to make things short eventually I noticed how dirty he was, lazy, always having to wake his grown ass up. Hardly bathed or brushed his teeth...yes he can go a month without brushing them which it keeps me from kissing him in a passionate way mainly because his breath smells like his mouth is rotting. Don’t get me wrong I knew he had some bad teeth but it was for the same reason it was because he never brushed apparently his mom never taught him to brush his teeth.Well I loved him so I stayed, hoping that he would change, as for the smart part of him, well, he’s into networking, and computers and all that, I thought it would be interesting but not when he spends most of the time working on his little “projects”. Even at work, we both work as security guards, I got him the job cause I wanted to spend more time with him but how can I? Even at work he uses his tablet to connect to our home network and work on whatever, which he just sits there doing his stuff. Besides that, OMG he’s just a kiss ass, he is just one of those people that just has to suck up to everyone, I don’t know if it’s just him being nice or just a kiss ass. I made him get this security guard job because he tried so hard to get into some sort of tech job, he got turned down in many but we needed money badly so I got him this job. Not such a great idea when Mr. Zuckerberg thinks he is too good for everything else, I just wish his stupid projects would bring income because he sucks at managing money and as much as I try to save up we’re always broke and he doesn’t seem to get it. He just thinks everything will be ok return to his stupid networking stuff and ignore the problems.Also, for God sakes do all IT guys always have to bask in their own glory to make themselves feel important? Yeah I get it I’m normal and simple I don’t understand what your talking about, but I rather be normal and simple then a fucking soulless robot. And I’m done dating a robot, if we have fun is because I’m the one who comes out with the ideas of going out to drink or watch a movie.I don’t know, maybe is just me bitching, maybe I just needed to get all these of off my chest. I know I’m not perfect no one is but it sucks seeing the little hope and dreams that I had going down the drain. I don’t feel special anymore, I feel unhappy, I want to go out, get crazy, get drunk, hell just meet a stranger and just fuck, cause why not. I don’t even know how it feels when someone is attracted to you, or you sitting across the bar and just making eye contact with someone else and smile and make a move.I’m 28 and just want to make the best of my younger years, instead I’m stuck at a dead end job, with a dude that acts like his 15.The only comfort I have is watching Will & Grace reruns imagining that my life can be somewhat like that...Now I’m fat, and I’ll never find love.