2017. szeptember 25., hétfő

My friends and family are homophobic

I posted these on lgbteens but I wanted to change some thingsI will also say the F-word a lotI live in Venezuela, I'm 16 and I'm gay (or maybe bi, I'm not sure) and I'm still in the closet.A lot of people in my school are homophobic. "Marico" (faggot in Spanish) is thrown around always to insult people. Once a teacher told boys to not "act like faggots"A guy calls lgbt people "freaks", "sick" etc. One literally says he's homophobic, and said everyone should be so.My friends constantly make fun of gay people, or otherwise people who "look gay".Once I told one of my friends he was homophobic, and he told me "so what". He celebrated the Orlando nightclub shooting, and says homosexuality is contagiousThough to be fair some of my friends criticized him for being too homophobicAnd my female friends. One said gay people are "weird"(Though she's a nice person and I don't think she would mind if I told here I'm gay), and another told me that she thinks I'm gay, and I told her that I'm not, and she said she always wanted a gay friend (but I'm not too close to her so I don't think I would be able to tell her)Honestly I'm not sure if my friends would care too much if I tell them I'm gay, but my family is what I'm afraid the most.My brother made fun of some lesbians in my school just for what they are, and he hates a singer for being gay. He started insulting him with so much hate it shocked me.My mother sometimes says and does things that makes me feel she doesn't like gay too.When I was a kid she caught me looking at pictures of pretty women, and she laughed and seemed proud lolBut another time (still when I was a kid) I left a page of pictures of shirtless men in the computer and she caught me. She only asked me if I was the one who left the page open but her eyes were full of hate.Also in church a nun was advocating against homosexuality and was giving magazines and my mother grabbed one. Though the nun was talking about other things too.But my father is the worst. He deeply loves me, I know that for certain, but he also deeply hates lgbt people. He said trans shouldn't be in the military, or work in the government just because their "faggots"Once he told my brother that the only thing missing to hate my brother is that he were gay. He starts yelling at me if I act a little bit feminine. He said gays shouldn't get married, and raise children. He made fun of a pride parade, he said there isn't homophobia in Venezuela.The point is I don't think I could ever come out to my family, I'm too scared.Then only person not homophobic in my family is my sisterJust to be clear I'm not depressed. I just get sad when I think too much about it. And with the current state of the country I also have other things to worry about.Sorry if my English was too bad.

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