2017. szeptember 27., szerda

My (29M) boyfriend (34M) and I are having one specific issue within our open relationship.

Apologies for the vague title.My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4.5 years. For the last year or so we have had an open relationship, meaning we have fun with other guys both together and separately. The open relationship has been a positive step for us. We sought couples counselling prior to opening up for the sole purpose of ensuring it was the right decision for us. We have found greater trust in each other, expanded sexual fulfilment and ultimately a greater understanding of our respective sexualities.The problem which has arisen is kinda tricky. We are a mixed race couple, and as we've discovered, apps like Grindr and Scruff (the main avenues we use to meet guys) can be quite racially selective. My boyfriend is Malaysian and I am Caucasian... Our experience thus far has been that my boyfriend has experienced high levels of rejection once it's uncovered that he is not me (we both have individual profiles, but display a "couple" picture). Usually guys will ask who they are talking to and either ignore or block once it's uncovered that they are talking to the Malaysian and not the Caucasian. He has been told this specifically. :(We understand that this is the nature of these apps and the city within which we live, but this definitely affects my boyfriend's self esteem and I am sure there are feelings of envy toward me because I have no trouble finding interested guys (please don't interpret that as narcissism, it's just the experience I've had).I want to support my boyfriend, but I don't know how to without deleting these apps and closing our relationship... Which is something neither of us want to do. This is a tricky one, but I'd appreciate any advice or experience.

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