2016. december 31., szombat
Please help me figure it out if I'm homophobic! Please tell me your honest opinion.
I'm a liberal person. Voted for the Democratic Party in the last few elections, campaigned for women's right to choose, voted for gay marriage, defend in all instances gay rights, etc. However, this evening while talking to my family, in particular with my son (who for full disclosure tells me he is heterosexual), I've made the following comment: "as a father I'd prefer my kids are not homosexual because society discriminates. I think my kids would have an easier life if they were heterosexual." Immediately I was called out by my wife and son. For that, the entire night discussion focused on the point that by saying this I was homophobic. So, am I?
How many bottoms does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, none. If he could screw anything, he'd be a top.
Are any of you guys in a fraternity and what have your experiences been?
I'm gay and in a fraternity and my brothers have only been supportive of me. They even help me out with finding guys sometimes! I'm curious of other people's experiences on how they are treated being out in a fraternity.
How sex positive must I be?
I'm a 34 year-old gay man living in a fairly progressive city, Austin, Texas. Lately, a few friends have accused me of not being sex-positive, which, evidently is now required of all enlightened gay men. Personally, I'm no prude. I've fucked around a lot, I love a good orgy, and there are jockstraps, singlets, and harnesses falling out of my closet. That said, I think sex and sexiness have their place. I also lead activities and am somewhat prominent in our gay community, and I think it needs to be safe and inclusive for EVERYONE including gay families with kids (who should not be hidden from the concept of sexuality, but there are limits here...).Here are three scenarios I've encountered lately and been chided by other gay men for not being sex-positive. I wonder what people think overall, or about each one.Pride Floats - I'm really not for anyone getting super sexy on Pride floats. It's one thing to wear a Speedo. It's another to wear leather gear and be bumping and grinding. Sure, that's great for the club or a party, but this is a way the general public celebrates our community. We reinforce stereotypes of gays as hypersexual beings with this stuff, and it makes it hard to welcome gay families with young children. I say save it for the club after the parade.Oversexed Social Media - I've now had two guys friend me who basically fill their social media with near daily shirtless pics of themselves, or worse, coy "What, am I half naked in that pic, whoops?" sort of pics. I find that just sex-obsessed and gross. Have some tact and respect for yourself. You're more than abs and pecs. I've unfriended these guys, even though I see them personally at things in our town.Sex and Community - I lead a fundraising sports team focused on HIV/AIDS funding. We participate in an annual HIV/AIDS fundraising event that is not gay-centric. I recently found out that someone connected our team's Instagram to some daily "hot guy" feed and sexualzed (but not NSFW) pics are showing up all the time. To me, this is TOTALLY irrelevant, and it reinforces the idea that gay mane are sex-crazed. My friends say it's important to create a sex-positive environment, there for these pictures of hot men are critical to our feed and attracting men to our group.
Holidays and elderly Asian relatives
Not really a rant but just kind of a get-this-off-my-chest post.26 year old Asian-American gay man here. My immediate family and I are located on the east coast, but my mom's side of the family are all over on the west. The last time we visited them was close to a decade ago. At that time, I wasn't out yet and was not in a relationship. Now I'm engaged to be married to a man. I'm out to my parents, siblings, cousins, and friends (all very supportive) but it's been sort of hush hush among my aunts and uncles. To my knowledge, I'm the only gay member of both my immediate and extended family.In any case, it's been quite an interesting and honestly humorous experience this past week. A lot of the family we visited were great aunts and uncles in their 70-80s. They're all very impressed that I'm a couple months away from being a doctor, and, naturally, the next question they have is if I have a girlfriend. I must have smiled and politely said "no" about twenty times this trip. Whenever my parents are around, there's always an awkward silence followed by a desperate attempt to quickly change the subject. On one occasion, someone asked my parents if I had a girlfriend, to which they replied that I have a "person (used a gender neutral Vietnamese term)." I honestly was laughing my ass off on the inside. Without fail, every visit ended with a hug from a great aunt or the like with a comment along the lines of "come back when you have a wife!"Oh, old Asian people... I doubt anything terrible would have happened if I told them, but in the back of my mind I just feel like it was something I needed to share. I just didn't have the heart to rock the boat this holiday season. Maybe in a couple years on their death beds...Please share your experiences. Curious especially to hear from people coming from similar cultures...
Virginity question
I'm 23 and a virgin and I've only recently accepted that I'm gay. I do want to have sex but I don't know wether to have a random hook up or wait. I prefer the idea of being in a LTR but I'm from a small town and there's no guys I'm attracted too. Any advice?
Riddled with Bullshit.
I was sitting in my mom's living room, all cozied up on the couch with my dog; I had just found one of my favorite tv shows online from a while ago, "Dead Like Me". The episode began, and I was captivated and reminded of why I loved sneakily watching it as a kid.My bliss was short lived after my brother's friend came in, along with my younger brother, (they're in their early twenties) telling me that my other brother (middle child) is drunk, fighting his friend in the middle of the street. This was the fifth time this week that he was drunk and acting a fool. I warned my younger brother, who is very well put together for a 21 year old, not to get involved to avoid getting involved in the drunken typhoon I call my middle brother.The door rattles and I can hear my drunken brother screaming at his friends through the door, and I can hear the rain pounding down behind the drunken mess and his friends. He begins to say that he's the alpha male and everything is about dominance and begins to swing at all his friends. If they wanted, he would "take them outside".Little by little, we all get involved, including my 63 year old disabled mother. I'm pretty sure the whole neighborhood could hear us screaming. Of course when it was my turn to take the brunt of his words, he brought out the only thing he has against me: That I am a Faggot. I simply replied that no matter whom I may love, I will always be more of a man than he. Of course, he outed me infront of all of his conservative Arabic friends, and things got kinda awkward.I went up stairs as a result of my mom pleading with me to stop responding to him. I sat there, in the upstairs hallway, eating my goldfish crackers of course, listening. I heard a new, bellowing voice. It was my older, ex-priest cousin. He was always called when family matters for anyone got out of hand. I heard my brother fabricating lies about how I cussed him out over the phone, or something ridiculous; the boy was belligerent.My cousin pleaded with him to realize that he needs to get professional help for his alcoholism. My brother laughed and told him to leave before he "fucked up his life".Before I knew it, my brothers and I were downstairs, fighting with my older cousin, and mother, who were blaming US for "fueling his fire" when we were just reacting to his insanity.Bearing the remnant hidden shame that I had long forgotten about being gay, I was enraged and felt exposed. I retaliated by telling them that we're humans too, and that he's simply a monkey provoking us, as the drunk screams at us to "come, come, come on, let's go!"My cousin pinned my brother down on the couch, and I looked over to my mom, who was now sobbing over the kitchen table, asking god what she had done wrong to deserve this? This wasn't the first, second, third, or even tenth time my brother had done this."Look! Look at what you're doing to her!" I shouted at my brother. My cousin, who was bent over the couch, holding my brother down, turned his shining bald head and said "You are too!"I lost it. I was, again, being blamed for all of this when I was simply sitting infront of the television, trying to enjoy my long lost show. I grabbed my stuff (My backpack full of MCAT stuff 😂) and I left.Unluckily for me, my car is in the shop, and it's raining. I tried to get to the trolley and wait until it started running so that I could get to my apartment. I've been walking around the streets with my backpack, flip flops and my shorts, aimlessly. Happy mother fucking new year.
Closet talk
Drunken Dad: When your brother went to High School all he would talk about is girls, well he's only had 2 girlfriends in his life!Drunken Dad: But with your confidence you've probably had so many girlfriendsMe, the gayest bottom on earth: haha yeah :)Wipes sweat off brow
Looking for a place to celebrate new year's eve in Berlin.
Is anyone in Berlin now? At first, I actually wanted to go to event at Brandenburg Gate. But I heard that there's gonna be a hundred thousands of people there and it's chaotic there. So I'm kinda looking for some nice places where more LGBT people go for celebrating new year's eve.Has anyone suggestions? BG
Does anybody here have a fetish on guys with specific profession?
Hi! I have this weird fetish on policemen and I would like to share it with you. My lifelong dream is to get married to the policeman that will protect me, love me, and care for me <3 I will be a prisoner in his jail. I dunno why I have this strange desire but I really get very attracted to policemen when I see them in street or wherever. I think I should visit the nearest police station and try to act as a bitch until I get raped or something :D Anyway does anybody here have a similar desire? For example, do you get attracted to engineers, doctors, etc...?
Moving to Idaho in a month or so.
Kind of happy about it kind of not lol. Guess i will find out how it will be.
2016. december 30., péntek
Who's in SF?
Somewhat new to the area (coming back in a few days), and I'm looking to hook up. Best way?
What's your opinion on condoms?
So I'm just starting to get active, and I've always thought "hey better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it." So I'm about to go buy some condoms just in case this New Year's Eve goes the way I'm hoping, and there's a shitload of options. So many I didn't even realize existed, I knew of Trojan and Durex of course, but all these other ones and different types it's so hard to decide... so my question to all of you is, what is the best condom brand and type in yalls opinion? Keep in mind you're helping me decide what I'll use to lose my virginity with, thanks!
Any good gay book that needed to be read?
Hi all, As the title says, are there any good gay book that should be read? I'm on break from college, and usually during my break I love reading. The only gay books that I've read are the geography club series and boy meets boy. I would love to hear from everyone and get your opinions. Thanks!!!
I feel like I don't need to come out.
I'm having issues with coming out. I'm perfectly fine with being gay and most of my close friends know I'm gay. But I feel like I don't need to tell the world, you know? I don't want to be branded as that gay person and disrupt any of my current relationships with family and friends. Being gay is my sexuality, not my lifestyle, so why should I tell my family and friends who I want to love and have sex with?I most likely feel this way because my parents would have a hard time adjusting. I know this because my twin sister came out as pansexual. This is a weird subject in my life too because I'm about to go to college and I'm finally an adult and I'd hate to jeopardize my early adulthood.Please comment your thoughts if you'd like, thanks. EDIT: I just thought about how I just want to be seen as normal, not the gay kid.
So About Douching ....
Hey there, Looking for a bit of advice on douching. I don't own an anal douche so I just take off the shower head and squirt warm water up my ass. This process for me results in spending 15-20 minutes sitting on the toilet waiting for it to... be shat out. I find the experience quite uncomfortable - any advice on technique or tricks to perhaps make the process quicker and comfortable? Let me know x
Going to Sydney for the first time during the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras! Anyone else? (X-post)
So, I initially booked my first ever solo trip and first non-North American trip to Sydney for a couple of weeks (25Feb through 12Mar). But I told a bff about it and he is joining me. I'm just curious if there are other ppl here going too. Maybe it might be cool to form a group to meet up with?US: We're both young fun guys from Texas (Dallas and Austin).
Gay couple tells family they're pregnant on Christmas after years of saving for surrogacy.
https://youtu.be/M4rQDRSwrRo
I think I'm bisexual and want to experiment
Always been strictly straight, until recently. I've been masturbating to gay porn a lot, and find the thought of giving oral to another guy, and getting it from a guy, extremely hot. When I watch straight porn I fantasize about being the girl often, and being very sultry, makes me rock-hard and have amazing orgasms. Also have been flirting with guys and it's been really making me horny, and I find I'm attracted to many guys.I have a bisexual friend of mine, and was considering asking him about it and seeing if he wanted to experiment, and try things out with me. I would only feel safe doing things like that with someone I personally know. I know he's very open with his sexuality. Very, very nervous about this. Any advice would be welcome.
I don't think it is a good idea to come out.
So there are two sides of the family. There are the Luceros and the Vigils, both teams are the southern, traditional, Christian/Jehovah's witnesses types. My cousin, Micah, came out as gay and he was never accepted as such. Not by anyone but my mom, and it took her a long time to get used to it. My dad is the sort that would stab me with a kitchen knife if he ever knew. My brothers would become distant, and i would essentially be excommunicated from any family gatherings. What should I do? Sometimes it feels like I should play straight forever.
Gay New years 18+ LA?
Hey. Any ideas on where to go if you are 18 and gay on New Years in LA? I know Micky's is open at 2 but is there something earlier and available for when the ball drops? Looking for a YOUNG gay scene. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Going to a sex party with a few acquaintances, two of whom I do not want to be sexual with. Say "no" to them or skip the party altogether?
My BF of nearly two years and I both were very slutty before we met. We both had a circle of friends who we fucked around with and we both were frequently asked to sex parties and orgies. After two years of monogamy, we are about to return to the playful scene. We live in a large, progressive city, but our gay community is small enough that any well-traveled gay knows at least half the other gay men in this town. We lead some significant gay fundraising activities and volunteer for prominent gay causes.A close mutual friend of ours is having a birthday party, and it's been made clear this will end with an orgy. It's probably going to be less than eight people, all of whom travel in the same social circles. I have a dislike for a couple of the guys coming. I'm not drama-prone or anything, it's just one has been so pushy about getting in my pants over the years it's gone from flattering to disrespectful and another is such a twit I prefer to keep him at arm's length.Given all this... if I am fooling around (say giving or receiving BJs with a couple guys) and one of these guys I dislike tries to join me, is it uncouth to politely indicate I am not interested in sexual contact with him? Usually at orgies with strangers, I have done this very directly by first giving a gentle touch and shaking my head, and if the guy persists telling him "thank you but I am not interested." How do I do this here where we all travel in the same social group? Or given that it's a small group do I need to skip this party if I am not open to the free-for all?Incidentally, my BF is a "radical-love" type, and is appalled that I would not just enjoy the sex regardless of who is giving it at this sort of thing. I wonder if I have to adopt that attitude ("Look, it's a sex party, who cares which dick delivers?") OR just not attend. I know my BF will be embarrassed if I turn down people at the party - again, small group of people who frequent the same circles. However, I think that is acceptable and understood (I'm never bothered if someone turns down sex with me).
What are your hopes for 2017?
Got a project you hope to finish? Meet new people? Find true love?What do you hope 2017 brings to you?
To my ex
I still miss you. I know we couldn't be together and we have agreed on that. But I still miss you. I miss sending random nothings to you about my day. Asking you about how your day went. And sleeping together while on FaceTime.But I don't miss feeling insecure. I don't miss the pain when I learned that you weren't faithful. I don't miss the guilt when I was also unfaithful. But you didn't know that. I was better at keeping my secrets.Time and intention, that's what a friend said is key to moving on. It's just been over a week. And it has been getting better as each day passes. But I still keep a hope in my heart that you are okay. And that you are also moving on. But I would also like you to know that even today, I still love you. It hurts, but I will let us go. Goodbye.
In search for answers...
Hello! For my short research paper in university I am writing about accepting homosexuality in certain time and place, and I just hit a block at part explaining why gay people would hide their sexuality. I mean there is this belief that it would disappoint their parents or because of person's religion and so on about this universal explanations, but I'd like some more concrete answers, if that is okay. Like, maybe why did you hide it or why are you still hiding it, and also how did you hide/you're still hiding it, any method or something. Any answer would help. Thank you and sorry for my english :)(Hope this is okay and not offensive in any way if I post in here :) )
Arab bottom
How hard is it for an arab bottom to find a guy? Even if it's just for a quick NJ I've realised I don't know how I feel about the entire thing unless I try. Are hung guys attracted to Arab bottoms or no? I don't care if I'm racially fetishized, I think it's hot that I have something guys want/like
Counseling?
My son was raped when he was 12 by another boy. He is 16 now and thinks he is gay. I would like to get him someone to talk things over with. Who should he talk to? A psychiatrist I find in the yellow pages?
X-mas break romance?
Hi, so I have come to visit a sibling in another state. My sister is a lesbian and is dating a girl currently. This girl she's dating has a gay brother (He's 26 and I'm 21) that I met the first night I was here. Typically I'm not really just into any guy I see and get all touchy. So we had a few drinks and then went out to the bar and on the car ride back him and I drove alone and he weld hands in the car and had a few moments but never kissed. We arrived back to my sisters car so we could drive home and he gave me a huge hug before I left and asked when he's see me again. That next day I snap chatted him and he sent a few flirty snaps to me so at this point in time I'm feeling him pretty hard. So we hang out again another day at a club and the same thing happened again afterwards us holding hands, and we even cuddled and fell asleep in the car after. Then things seem to just die down now as I approaching my final days here visiting. He came over while my sister was at work to pick up something he had left over but neither of us hugged and it was pretty awkward. I'm unsure what to do because I think we're very compatible based on his taste in music, tv, and even just the way he acts is so attractive me to. Not to mention he's a total 10 on top of it all so that doesn't help it one bit. I'm afraid that he doesn't actually like me? What can you conclude on his feelings and also what do I do? I know it's only been a week worth of events but I mean, who knows, he could be someone I'd want to be forever. I have one year left of school and I'm planning on moving here. Is there anything I can do to try and see if it actually is anything or do I just leave it alone and let him be?Thank you!
2016. december 29., csütörtök
Advice for hooking up in SF Bay Area
I can't seem to find anyone who is reliable and not flakey. I am location in the Peninsula. What other sites/apps are there? I am on OKC but can't find many for casual sex. Grindr is eh... the guys aren't that great. Suggestions ? Anyone in the Bay Area just want to meet up and fuck? I'm a top.
In denial about your sexuality without internalized homophobia? (Finally coming out to myself)
Well, I realized couple of hours ago that I’m gay.Right now I’m going through a bit of an identity crisis, not knowing what I want to do with my life and all those other young adult clichés. Slowly I’ve been noticing that my attraction towards women is nowhere near my attraction towards men. So much that I can’t call myself bisexual honestly.I’m in college and more friends know about my same sex attraction but I’ve been a little vague because I wasn’t sure how I identified. I had a hard time telling my friends that I was bisexual... I’m having a harder time with the prospect of now telling them I’m actually gay.The thing is, I don’t really know if this has to do with internalized homosexuality (although I’m open to arguments on how I am wrong about this). I fully support the LGBT community, I have absolutely no problems with anyone’s gender identity or how they express themselves or anything else, and in fact love meeting people who feel comfortable being themselves. I’m also an atheist so religion isn’t a factor. So I can't fully understand how I was in denial for so long and how I didn't even see it coming.My issue seems to have to do more with my ego. Lately I’ve been noticing how little I know about myself and this blow means that I’m even more clueless than I thought. Another thing is my fear of somehow hurting bisexuals because this makes it seem like the “bisexuals aren’t real” myth is true. People used to ask me or accuse me of being gay which I would continually deny because I truly believed I wasn’t, I didn’t think I was lying. Now I just feel dumb and embarrassed because of how long it has taken me and how it seemed I was the last one to find out. It’s like I feared being ridiculed but for being oblivious/in denial instead of being gay. But I also realize that I have to do it. At the moment I find myself depressed, quite unhappy with how my life is going and have been trying hard to understand why I can’t seem to move forward. I’m pretty sure this has to be a big part of why. Right now I’m just trying to find a way to put my ego and embarrassment aside because I believe that after this other things might fall into place more easily.Advice or thoughts would be very much appreciated.
Being in a relationship help
I'm bi I've been in a relationship with girls in high school, but I didn't love them emotionally. im a 20yr old guy. I've tried to go out on dates with guys that I sorta had feelings for that doesn't work I feel like I'm obligated to be with them but I don't have any attraction to them. I feel as though we are just friends. I'm picky on who I like and love emotionally. Idk what's wrong with me. I feel like I was mentioned to be single and help people with their problems, which I like helping people. But when it comes to love the ones I like "don't roll that way" or don't want anything to do with me. I accept dates with guys that ask me out but I don't get emotionally attached after a few weeks of talking to each other.Any help or advice is much appreciated. Xoxo
I am looking for a certain song, or any other song.
It is a song made by a gay musician, and in the video he is a knight to rescue the man he loves who is locked in a cage. They were also young kids at the beginning of the video, and some bullies try to hurt the singer. Then the one (future boyfriend) kid stops them from beating him up. That is how they met. I heard it once. I can't remember any lyrics, but it was just a beautiful video. Any suggestions for more songs like this please add them. I really appreciate it, and thank you so much.
Finding the right person to experiment with for the first time?
I'm 19 and just moved to a bigger area from a small town. I've chatted with people on Tinder and Grindr. I think I'm looking for people I can be friends with for the sake of having a person to have normal fun with but also make a connection with and experiment with. I have attractive physical qualities, I'm intellectual and into mature people, but I've never had my first kiss. I know I want to get past my "innocence" and everything sounds fun but I just can't feel myself being comfortable enough to just jump into the situation. I think I might be afraid that I'll care too much about my "first times" and that people won't care as much about me as I do them (as their experience will be less special). Any advice from person experience?
My Friend's Fiance Just Messaged Me on Grindr
Hey everyone! I've never been on Reddit before, but I knew that I could get some good advice here so here goes:I had a friend in college who we'll call Keith. We were never really that close, but we considered each other friends. He was obviously gay to me, but he was dating a girl at the time so there was never anything between us, nor did I ever really have feelings for him. There was another guy who we'll call John that I hooked up with a few times and was overall on friendly terms with as well. I don't know if they knew each other or not at the time as they didn't start dating till after college.Fast forward about 3 or 4 years and Keith and John are now engaged to be married. Judging by social media they seem like a perfect couple. They both come from very well to do families, and their lifestyles match up really well. They own a house together, have a cute dog, and are always taking pictures together in exotic locations on vacation. In fact, when I first saw they were dating, I thought they were perfect for each other. They've always seemed very happy.Meanwhile, I'm over here perusing Grindr and last night I received a message from a guy with "curious" in the headline. He didn't have hardly any info on his profile except his age, so I didn't respond when he asked what's up. Then, a few hours later, he sends a pic, and it turns out to be John. I'm one of those headless torsos, so apparently he didn't recognize my chest and didn't know it was me. I had no intention of hooking back up with him again, but I wanted to figure out if Keith new about it (maybe their relationship is open?). So then I respond, and we have the normal introductions, and then he asked for a face pic in which I said it depended on what he was looking for. He said he was looking to mess around a little tonight. I asked if he could host because I knew they own a house and live together, and he said no. He overall seemed to be acting like he was curious and still in the closet (he even said he isn't out when I asked despite their relationship being all over social media). He was even wanting to hook up in his car when I said I couldn't host either. I was also concerned that maybe someone was posing as John (do people actually do that???), but he also sent a dick pick (unsolicited), and I recognized his dick and his living room from FB pictures. Finally, I told him I didn't want to hook up in a car, and that I was too tired and he blocked me. To me, that sounds very much like Keith doesn't know it's happening.I took screenshots of the entire conversation as evidence.I haven't talked to Keith in about 3 years since graduating college, but I'm wondering, do I have an obligation to tell him? Or should I take the "ignorance is bliss" approach and let Keith marry someone who may be cheating on him. I don't want to destroy a relationship or get involved at all really, but I feel like I have to tell him.If I do have an obligation to tell Keith, how should I go about it? I don't want to tell him in public because I don't know how he'll react, and I don't want to put him in an embarrassing position. I was thinking to have him over to my house to tell him, but I don't know how to approach it. As I said, we were never that close, so I'm not sure how I would initiate the discussion with him after all this time.I don't know if Keith knows anything about John and I hooking up back in college, but I'm also worried about Keith's reaction to telling him about John if he knows we hooked up. Maybe he could construe that I'm trying to break them up for my benefit?I'm not really sure how to proceed, but I had trouble sleeping last night and have been thinking about it all day, and I thought I'd turn to the Reddit community for help. Any advice you guys have for me on how to handle this situation is much appreciated.Thank you, guys! WayfarerOK
Gay Pen Pals
Hey guys,Just a lonely 25 year old biology student at the end of my wits due to being overly lonely. Never been in a serious relationship or anything, and I have all this love to be given. Just trying to reach out to fellow gay guys who deal with similar life scenarios. I'm from a catholic-Iraqi family, I'm about to apply to medical school, practically had to raise my family while raising myself (disabled parents). I just want some friends to identify with and get to know each other. It'll be like opening a box of chocolates.
Questioning Hard And I Feel Awful
I've always been straight (strictly attracted to women) until last night. I had a dream where I was giving a blowjob to a guy. I woke up very turned on and masturbated to this thought. Now I've fallen hard into wanting to fulfill this dream and have it reciprocated.It's a weird feeling because I've been so sure of my sexual orientation for my entire life and now I don't know how I'm feeling. I'm in a serious relationship with a girl and we've talked about our future together. We seem to be on the marriage/together forever track.What scares me is that either I live the rest of my life regretting not following this desire or I have to break up with this girl and break her heart and mine.I know I have to decide what I'm going to do myself but if anyone has any advice/encouragement/questions for me to ask myself, I would appreciate it.
depressed, confused, y lonely
hello, i am 19 years old. growing up was so hard for me because people wouldnt treat me the same, i now got the gastric sleeve surgery and i have lost over -170 pounds. people who wouldn't talk to me at school are now adding me on facebook and liking my picture. i weight 220 pounds, when i go to public people call me cute but i dont feel cute. i have problems with my self esteem. i am Mexican american myself and i would love to travel all around mexico. lately i have been so depressed . i just feel like i dont have nobody to talk to but at the same time i do , my friends from high school are always messging me . i am almost 20 years i am a virgin, i have never done drugs , i have never been to a party. i am from a small town and people think im gay because as a 19 years old. in my family eyes i should be drinking and i should be doing guys stuff (drugs). i am a person who thinks a lot about life. i would never want to see myself doing drugs. if anyone wants to be my friend message me lol. i dont care how you look . i am a person who doesnt like to judge.
Why I'm insecure with guys...(and why I would love your advice)
Any advice is highly appreciated!Storytime: For all my teen years I've fallen for straight guys and only half a year ago I've realized this failure. So I decided to start online dating for real - meeting up with guys and not only writing to them... So the first date was odd. He looked way different than what I imagined. But he was a nice lad and we talked for a pretty long time.I took it as a good exercise dating him and I guess it was a pretty good first gay date in general. Didn't take long and I found me another guy I liked. Surprisingly we started sexting pretty fast. It was pretty dirty - but I liked it. After two days or so we met up and had a very romantic, long date - we hit the city at the end of November and it was already "all Christmas". He was really cute with me and the moment he went for a kiss maybe was one of the best moments of my life so far.Some days later I went to his apartment for the weekend. I was so damn shy, followed him around, kissed him, hugged him. He smiled a lot and showed me one or two things. Sex was great.After that weekend we texted a bit less, but it was alright. I went to his apartment again the following weekend and I was all-love. He was my prince. It was awesome again. So much privacy, so much intimacy, such new feelings. I told him how much I enjoyed being around him. This was the last time we met.After that he told me that he wouldn't have time to meet anymore - only about once a month or so. He said it was due to the finals coming up. He'd be doing some heavy exams for the first few months of the year. I said I undestood but I was very confused and afraid. Like I didn't know what this meant for us. What should we do? What are we even? So I asked him - we were dating for about three weeks.He said he wouldn't really know what to say. Turned out he didn't have the same feelings for me and I would create a lot of pressure for him when I told him how much I liked him. Like he couldn't possibly live up to the image I had of him... I said I didn't mind and I was open for what's to come. He never wrote back...A few weeks later I started dating a new guy. He's really cute but once again will have very little time for half a year (he'll only be home for some of the weekends). Again I feel sorta confused but I don't want to build up too much pressure for him, so I said I was fine with "taking it slow" as he proposed.So now I guess, I am single. Building something like a friendship with benefits which could become something real. I don't really have someone to talk to about this - only the guy I'm dating. So I wanted to give it to the community.Do you guys have any advice?
From Hook up to Relationships
I meet a guy a few weeks ago (at a hook up spot) we exchange numbers and ever since then have meet multiple times. I'm starting to like this guy but I don't know if he feels the same way or if I'm becoming more of a fuck buddy to him.We have been to a few places (dinner, drinks, nice bars) and after sex we cuddle for hours. When we are together everything is totally fine (potential relationship material) but he never text me I'm always the one texting him and asking him to meet up. He has never said no to us meeting. In fact, at times we are texting and he will drop a hint that he wants to meet up but leaves it up to me to plan and ask.I'm starting to like him a lot. In bed things are amazing, perhaps some of the best sex I ever had. And we can talk about similar interest for long periods of time.What should I do?? I don't want to ask him how he feels and scared him away.
I'm Gay! (Coming out to myself)
I'm not one that usually posts or comments on anything on reddit but after watching /r/gay for a while now and after the last year and a half of struggling with myself and trying to out think it I have finally come to accept the fact that I'm Gay. This really has not been easy for me but I'm 20 already and don't want to spend more time fighting myself as it has been mentally draining for so long now.I'm not sure where to go from here and still not happy with it but it is what it is so I guess I just have to work with it :/ I've managed to tell a few friends about what I'm struggling with and how i was unsure but my best friends are straight and don't understand what it's like.It feels crazy putting something like this into the world, where someone I know could see it but I wanna do it. If anyone I know does see it then I'm cool with it but still worried haha. Thanks for letting me post my thoughts and ramblings guys, I just had to let it out. If anyone has some advice for anything from here it would be greatly appreciated :)
THE FACT SITE: Article that questions why gay men are vocal about open relationships....should we even be asking this question? Does this come with heteronormative baggage?
https://twitter.com/blankmates/status/814445091695816708
LPT: If someone engages you in a Dirty Talk on Grindr, that person is more likely to be a flake/fake.
Flaker/fakes usually get satisfaction through dirty talk. They do not intend to meet up with you.
Why am I still single?
So I've pretty much been single my whole adult life, excluding the random 2 month relationships here and there (like 3 of them). When I do meet a guy, they're astounded that I'm still single, but to me, I'd be astounded if I wasn't.I'm 25, about to apply to medical school, I tutor at a college, I'm the eldest son of two Catholic-Iraqi, disabled immigrants and I've practically had to raise a family while raising myself. I feel like this has built me into a very unusual type of person in the gay community to the point where I've met no one that I have a persistent liking or attraction to.I'm pretty well put together, I'm handsome, masculine, smart, and funny. I feel like I'd be the perfect package for a guy, and I'm ready to give love to someone who understands. Someone who knows what its like to have nothing, have supported a family while growing up, and come from an extremely religious family, yet I've never met anyone close to this. Am I a freak of society? Or am I being unreasonably picky? I'm not even the type to care about physical appearances; just charm me and I'm sold lol. Oh life.
My favorite gay movie!!
"Boys," a Dutch film from 2015 directed by Mischa Kamp, changed my life. It's entirely in Dutch, but it's on Netflix with a variety of subtitles. It has an amazing, heart-wrenching narrative with an ultimately uplifting ending, and (to me) challenges today's cookie-cutter LGBT media. This movie is my all-time favorite, and it absolutely resonated with me on so many levels. I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who's got a little over an hour on their hands! What's your favorite gay movie?
2016. december 28., szerda
Questioning Male 21
I have questioned my sexuality for a long time now and have begun to realize that I am gay. It is a good feeling finally accepting myself and understanding my feelings. It's odd, though, because I could never picture a future that I would deny having sex with a women (which would make me straight). So I must be bisexual, but it feels like I have to choose between being straight or gay. And I am unsure which gender I prefer. Not sure where I'm going with this post - maybe some advice or helpful feedback. Thanks.
I'm very confused on my sexuality and I need help
Hi. I'm a male. So within the past year I've started to masturbate to transsexuals. Now up until this point I had been 100% straight. I think I was masturbating too much so to get off I needed a new kink. Well I masturbated quite frequently to transsexual porn. And recently I've started to masturbate to gay porn. Idk what it is but I guess I like dicks? I don't think men are attractive and I've never had a crush on a man or been attracted to one. However I guess I like dicks because masturbating to transsexual and gay porn has convinced I'm not 100% straight. I've had experiences with girls before and I enjoyed them a lot. My sexual fantasies only consist of girls. But sometimes I have the urge to maybe experiment with a man. I've tried a few times on Craigslist for oral but I always bail because in the end I don't really want to suck a dick or get my dick sucked by a guy. I know I'm not 100% straight but I don't even think I'm bi because while I have the urge sometimes to try something while horny I could never go through with it and I've never been attracted to a male. I need some help determining my sexuality because I don't quite understand myself.
I ended it with the guy I was dating!
Hey I am Jun who wrote about the whole poly/open relationship thing a while ago. We have had conversations about what was going on between us and how we felt or thought. One thing led to another, last evening I suggested ending it. He took it well and in fact he told me he was on the same page. I felt insecure about letting this guy go in that I had been "subconsciously" afraid if there would be another nice guy for me. Finally, I just got out of it for the better. He was amazing in many aspects indeed but we couldn't expect anything long term in the way we interacted. I became uncomfortable in the thing we were having and I felt jealous and worried if I was on the back burner. This experience was really valuable for me. I think I got to know more about dating guys. I wanted to share my experience so my fella gay boys can also stand tall in dating. Don't ignore your voice within babes.Jun
Message from a Muslim
I'm an American-Muslim who started college a year ago, which is where I first really met gay people.They disgusted me. I had never known any gay people before, and only associated them with guy on guy sex; I didn't see them as actual people.It was weird though. They knew I was Muslim, and were super friendly. They were involved in a lot of the political causes I was (pro-Palestine, anti-war, anti-Trump, etc.). When bigots talked shit about Islam/Muslims to me, it was the gay-guy in our class who was the first to stand up for me.So long-story short, I kind of changed. Or I guess, gay people changed me. You can only remain so standoffish in the face of unrelenting coolness.I'm still Muslim, and don't agree with homosexuality, but in the same way I don't agree with eating pork. Its not for me, but I respect people for whom it is.I know you guys always get bombarded with messages from the alt-right asking why you are liberal or defend Muslims when we hate you. So I just wanted to say keep doing what you are doing, because whether you realize it or not, you guys are making friends out of us (former) haters everyday.No homo.
Single gays of Reddit, is it a turn off for a potential date/boyfriend to not have a car?
Hi Reddit, I recently got out of a relationship and I'm going to start dating in the next couple weeks. I'm not looking to get into anything serious and honestly just wanna meet new people and see how it goes.I'm the type of person that if I see someone is cute or I'm interested in I'll go up to them strike a conversation and maybe exchange information. Only now that it's been a while since I've been out in the dating cycle, how big is it for a guy your dating to not have a car?It's not that I can't afford one but I really don't need a car to get to where I need to go. I live in Phoenix and I'm near the metropolitan area and my work is not too far from where I live so the Lightrail and Uber have been my best friends. I just haven't felt the need to spend money on a monthly payment for a car and insurance if I don't have to.Is it a deal breaker in your opinion for a potential date to not have a car?
Just came out
Just came out to my parents. My mother took it very well, but my father... Let's just say he's a homophobic, christian asshole who now probably hates me.I came out to my closest friends a few weeks back and they were totally cool with it and all tried to make me tell my parents.Everyone is saying how relieved and glad they are to finally be free after actually telling someone.. I'm sad to say I can't feel this kind of relief at all and it's already tearing me down just a few hours after.I know I should feel happy and thankful that I at least didn't get thrown out, and that I at least have one loving parent, but I'm seriously feeling down now.
I have kept my sexuality a secret to my conservative parents. It's time to be free.
I have known I am gay since i was 10, 8 years ago i know my dad will not handle the news well my mother is conservative but i'm sure she'll love me despite everything.How should I come out to them? I want to be respectful and choose my words in a way so they don't get too shocked.Thank you in advance for all the advice
Clubs in Gainesville Fl
Anyone know of any descent clubs in Gainesville, Florida? If so, what's the admission (if any)? Kinda looking for something to do New Year's Eve.
How to find a boyfriend?
First off, sorry if I make mistakes in English as it is not my mother-tongue. Well guys, I accepted my gay personality last year in March and I am 24 y.o. I live in Leeds/UK as a student and I am a lad who is somewhere between good-looking and cute. I use hornet and sometimes grindr to look for a boyfriend but seemingly it is not working for me as the guys there mostly want to shag. In real-life it is hard for me to find a boyfriend as I am introvert. It really makes things much worse :/ I do not know what to do. Any suggestions or recommendations?
I need help to make sure what I like.
Alright, so first off I am not a 100% sure if I am gay or bi.I am 15 years old, a boy, either gay or bi not sure. Let me explain. I am interested in having a relationship with a girl but I am not at all interested in the sexual stuff with a girl more an intimate relationship.I want it all from a boy everything (not ready to get it or give it in the back tho).I can see myself cuddling with both genders, but I mostly want to be with a guy. Hope you can help me to find out if I am just very cuddly and gay or just bi.
I dont know what is going on in my life.
First of all sorry if I make any mistake in English as it is not my mother tongue. Well, to start with I accepted my gay personality in March, 2015 and I am 24 years old. I tried some one night stands which were awful experience for me. I feel like I am attracted to masculine guys between 25-35 ages. I am somewhere between cute and handsome lad but the thing is the people I like don't like me. I wanna have a long-term relationship but it is not even in the horizon. I also use hornet and grindr but the lads there wanna have only fun. I feel like I am trapped. I know it is hard for me to find someone without using application but I think life or shit whatever you call happens.
Acceptance with myself
I am 19 regular guy and was pretty happy during high school but just didn't date anyone. When I started college I met a girl and everything was great up until I decided to have sex with her (I was a virgin) and would hate having sex with her it took all I had to keep a erection and it was one of the reasons we broke up. I have always had moments of watching gay porn and loving seeing men in underwear or naked but if i masturbated to it after I would think wtf? But now I really can appreciate the female body but it doesn't do as much for me as seeing a man on the internet completely naked and I am not saying anything to anyone about me thinking I could be bi or gay because my parents finically support me through college and I'm afraid to tell anyone because I live in a small town in Georgia but there is one guy that I am so attracted to and want to experiment with him but I am afraid he could tell people if he didn't want to and everyone knows he is bi so I don't want people to put two and two together and start questioning me. Any suggestions is appreciated I love being able to talk about stuff on here
Courage from Two Spirit Camp at Standing Rock
https://youtu.be/ToO-fraRx3g?list=PL3sNzvlyWt5HQl0eKt58zUzmSn9zssoKW
Which Part of UK Has Music Universities that Are Easy to Enter?
Hi. I'm currently studing a music bachelor in a univeristy in Hong Kong. I want to go to UK to get a master degree after I graduate.I like UK because I'm a goth, gothic culture is good in UK, there are a lot of gothic shops.Also, I WANT TO be openly gay. I want to marry a man. I want to adopt kids. I'm into mature looking type, especially Pakistani papas.Please help!! You can change my life :3
When's it okay to ask him if he wants to be your boyfriend?
Hi, I'm pretty bad with feelings aka I develop them way too fast. Last time I was dating someone I asked him after two or three weeks if he wants to be my boyfriend. Long story short: He didn't want to see me anymore since it was too much pressure for him.Now I'm dating again this one guy. We had some classic Neflix and Chill session - no anal tho. Ever since we've been texting and I started to really like him. He's sorta shy when it comes to his homosexuality in public.So, being bisexual I know girls like to be your girlfriend pretty soon (or that's how I experienced it). I really wanna be together with this guy but I'm so damn afraid that this will trigger the same reaction as with the other guy...So that's why I wanted to ask you guys: When do you call them boyfriend?
2016. december 27., kedd
Friend hacked my computer and now knows i am gay
I moved in with a friend 2 years ago (starting professional lives). He is a computer wiz and I asked him for only one thing, please do not hack my computer. Well about 4 months ago he did, he read my work emails, Skype chats and found some classy bondage porn (tied up guy nothing crazy). I feel violated. My computer was my way to connect with the gay community and he pulled that away from me.I have been closeted my whole life and just recently have become more accepting of myself. I am still not ready for my friends to know though I think many already do. If I come out many of them will question things I have done (sports, horsing around, locker room, do I like them, why did I lie. ect ect). I am afraid to lose the friends I have, after so many years of denying it.After he saw the gay shit he stopped talking to me, became alpha aggressive and soon after moved away with a work transfer. ( The alpha shit I put in place really quick I am bigger than him and he knew if he said shit or made any issues I would fuck him up). We never spoke of what he saw he just changed. I asked him to remove the meta-split virus and he just laughed and said figure it out.He did not talk to me for a couple of months. Now he is acting like nothing happened and wants to come visit. He has even dropped a comment in a post about Trump and the lgbtq community. "I don't get the hate they are just normal people, who gives a shit what they do."I still feel betrayed and hate him, but am worried he took an image of my computer and will show my friends if I don't hang out with him. I feel violated and powerless.I am on track with a successful start up and I think he just wants in. I want to tell him to fuck off, and just lean into him about what a fuck up he is. Even if we were still friends I don't think I could ever trust him again.Any advice would be appreciated...Sorry to vent, I feel better just writing this down.:: Short ::Room mate hacked my computer and found out I am gay. He acted like an ass, I still feel violated and now he wants to be friends again.
A poem I wrote about a year ago
[Background after poem]I've never had pneumonia or cancer, I've never broken a bone or twisted an ankle, But I've been in a hospital for so long I feel like I've memorized every room. Days are long and nights longer; sleep desired and elusiveNo one knows I am sick and no one ever will.By no means is an apple about to plummet from the tree No shoelace tied No tic-tacs primed Rather a dollar can only purchase so much oil. I won't burnoutbut I will be exhausted.Exhausted of screaming to others of confidence while negitivity whispers in my hungry ears. I used to deny I was sick or that it was even a sickness, but it really is just my opinion.My opinion- something I hate. I feel like everyone in the world loves, but my opinion differs. My opinion says comfort and love are things out of reach; like bright twinkles in the sky. If I could reach those bright twinkles I would; but from under the mountain's shadow I can't see them anymore. Crawling up a mountain just to grasp at what you can't have- stupid.But wasting away in the underbrush I am tired of.For now I'll hide away behind long sleeves and grades higher than the love I have for myself; because no matter how much you hate me for my illness:I will always hate myself more[Background]If you couldn't tell I am a closeted homosexual who is sad. I wrote this poem a little over a year ago, after something small snowballed into something unbearable.I usually write little things when I am stuck in a low place. When I write down my thoughts somewhere I feel as though I've put them away. Like I don't have to think about it anymore.I've been browsing this subreddit for a while now and I am glad it exists; you are all lovely people. I always loved (this is going to sound messed up) reading the despressi g poems and heart-breaking true stories. They make me feel not alone. That makes me happy.I have about a metric ton of these self-loathing little speeches. Even with all that experience I am by no means an author or grammatical Einstein, but I like writing.I think it's cool.Today was a good day- the first in a while. I felt like I could share some of my sad junk over the internet so maybe someone over the internet could feel not alone.That would be really cool.[Tl;Dr] Whatever you're going through right now just know a strange gay teen over the internet believes in you.
Underage gay needs advice
Where would I have to go to find other guys like me? I'm a virgin, and I need to try stuff before I make a huge decision.
How to deal with coworker?
So, I have a coworker who presses basically all the buttons for what I find attractive in a guy. Intelligent, fit, nerdy, funny, kinda shy like me. I'd ask him out, but I'm not sure if he's gay or not and I'm not sure what, if any, tells I should look for.I've been at this job just over a year now, and the position expires end of January. He was the first coworker to come up and talk to me during work and invite me to lunch, as well as basically the guy who showed me around the office, and I basically wound up helping him organize our website.In that year, though, he's been single the entire time. As far as I know, he's only had one date during that time, and it didn't go anywhere, nor do I know if the person they went on a date with is a guy or a girl. I've tried facebook stalking, but I haven't seen photos that I think would necessarily qualify as photos of a girlfriend as opposed to a girl who's a friend, and he clearly doesn't keep it updated much. He's also dared me, and only me, (no other coworkers to my knowledge, who are all female with the exception of our boss), constantly with the silliest dares during our lunch breaks, stuff like "How much would I have to pay you for you to dab after ordering your food"? He's even paid for my lunch a couple times and even a beer (though that one was because I had done a dare).But most recently, when our boss managed to hook the entire office up with suite tickets to a basketball game, we had to pose for photos a couple times. Both times, he stood to my left and had his hand in the small of my back. One of my other coworkers noticed this and joked that "No wonder you guys didn't bring plus ones, you were each others' "! Afterwards I noticed that he changed his seat so it was the one next to mine in the suite.And I'm not sure how to deal with all this. I don't know if it's just wishful thinking on my part and I'm misreading benign things, or if he's actually hinting, or if it's just harmless coincidence. If I knew for sure he was gay, I'd ask him out without hesitation. At the same time, I don't want to waste time on a fruitless effort or get my hopes up (however hard that may be).
Home for the holidays and feel so lonely
Back at college, I have tons of accepting friends. I love them all lots. At home, I don't have anybody. I'm at home in a rather homophobic town where some won't even talk to me, because I'm gay. I have a sister that constantly tears me down for being me. I've cried at a time of the year that's supposed to be super happy.Fuck this, late January can't come quick enough. I, for the first time in my life, am looking forward to school. I just want to be back with people that love me for me./rant
My boyfriend is slowly drifting apart
I'm currently in a long distance relationship with a guy from Vietnam. In the beginning there were lot's of talking between the two of us (we both speak Vietnamese). On average we have about 1 hour video chats and half an hour of texting everyday, but now it has gone down to 10 minute video chats and only 1 minute of texting. Sometimes he also outright ignores my texts and tells me that he's "busy", but I don't believe him.As you can see, my boyfriend hasn't been giving me that much attention like he used to and it's driving me crazy. What the hell is going on here? I hate to say it, but I strongly suspect he's cheating on me with someone else. Either that, or he's legitimately busy with his life. Ugh, I can't get this off my mind. It's bothering me so much.Yes, I understand that he has his own life to live too, but still when you're in a long distance relationship with someone, a big part of it is communication. Without this key component a relationship can never work out.Btw, something to keep in mind is that he has A LOT of gay guys on his facebook friend list which he admits to talking to some of them, but reassures me that they're "just friends". In fact, Vietnam so happens to be a country with a lot of gays, so he often has regular contact with them in his everyday life.How can I get him to pay more attention to me and put more of his time on me? I really don't want to lose him! Because the truth is, he's all I have. :/ Unless I decided to dump him and find a new boyfriend who will give me all the attention that I need, although this is only a last resort.
I hate Myself
There are many reasons. Some things about me just to get the idea; I'm 21 years old, studying horticulture but i have no idea what to do as a career, I don't have a job right now.In the past four years I've hooked up with 70-80 guys and I feel disgusting about it. Last year in fall I met a great man who truly cared about me. A few months after meeting this great guy I felt so strange and decided to tell him ''I don't think we should talk anymore" then I started to hook up with others again.We started to talk and hangout again after a couple months of not talking, then my father killed himself one night while I was at that guys house, in april. A few weeks after my dad was dead I started to talk to guys on a hook-up app, and told the guy who actually cared about me the same "i don't think we should talk anymore"So then I started hooking up again, up to the point of being fisted, which I feel so disgusting about, I didn't like it and it gives me nightmares.The guy that cares about me called me and wanted to meet up, we had sex but I was paranoid that I might have hiv, I told him after we had sex, and he was rightfully disappointed and pissed.I ended up getting a full screen done and found out I have hsv2, told him thankfully he doesn't have it.We have been hanging out a few times a week, he cares about me and I care about him. But sometimes I feel like I should just tell him not to talk to me anymore and I don't really understand why. I love being around him but I feel like he should not waste his time on me. He doesn't think i'm capable of a relationship which is probably true.Long story short, i'm ashamed about the amount of guys i've hooked up with, getting fisted, the time i spend looking at porn.My therapist says none of this matters, as I wasn't trying to hurt anyone and I have not killed or molested anyone. But I feel bad for hurting this guy who has only ever been there to support me.I dont know what i'm trying to say, I just feel so numb and empty.
I am horny right now and need someone
PLease PM me for KIK or any video chat please, hungry dude waiting here
My best friend told me he had a crush on me
This is an update to my other post a few months ago. My best friend came back to Florida after living in California for a year and a half. Me and him were on the phone yestarday (day after christmas 2016) and we were talking for almost 2 hours on the phone. During that time we talked about our past together and he said that before he left Florida to live in California, he wanted to tell me that he had a crush on me and wanted to be more than friends, but he didn't because it would have been a long distance relationship.When he told me that I was trying not to freak out haha. I was overwhelmed with joy to know that he did have feelings for me. The conversation when on and we were saying nice things to eachother and just goofing around on the phone like we always do, but this time it felt different. It didn't feel like oir typical phone call and mess with eachother.It felt like a silly conversation a couple would have. Right now we are unofficial, but it feels like we are a couple to me. I'm going to see him tomorrow and I can't wait to see him after a year and a half but im kinda nervous.. Im not sure why but I am. I am going to just let all of my emotions flood out and say the things that I've always wanted to say to him that I never have yet. And even if me and him don't become a couple, I wouldn't mind because our friendship is more than enough. But something tells me that me and him might even be friends with benifits... Its just a feeling ;)
Sort my closetted life out and needs help..
Hello guys (sorry for the boring, "depression-like" title, but I don't know what to write at the moment...)I just wanted to share some of my thoughts with you, and I need some advice or such. French male here, I've turned 20 this month, celebrated my birthday and christmas with my family, and still, I feel sadder and loner than ever..Putting some context. This year, after finishing 2 years in medical school and decided to reorientate myself (now in biology), I just had more time to think about me, my life and what's going on with it. I always kinda assumed I was straight or bicurious but for 6-7 months I started to think that I'm fully bi (at least). Summer passed and I started my classes, I've encountered girls, boys, created some bonds with them (only friendship).(I've never been lucky in love, got several crushes, always ended up with me being trashed and my friends getting the girl instead...)And then came this guy (my age), we started seeing each other every wednesday because we had a class in common that day. God, he's funny, charismatic, handsome, cute, talkative... that's the first time i'm feeling this for a guy (and it wasnt unpleasant tbh), classes finished and we wanted to see each other during holidays, so he got to my apartment last week. He left saying he would be glad if we could meet again very soon (this week if he's not busy). I agreed and I couldn't be happierThing is, the more I know him, the more I like/love him and the more depressive/sad I get because he doesnt show any sign of being interested (although he's chatting with some cute manners with me). I don't know his orientation, we haven't talked about girls, I just know he was in a relationship 4 years ago, but nothing since (I mean, having a past relationship with a girl/boy doesnt mean at the time you still have the same orientation, or you're ""at least"" bi).What I do know however is my feeling rushing in my head, making me crazy. I always want to talk to him, always want to get his attention, always want to be with him, i'm jealous from everything and I just feel insecured...Problem is: I don't know how to act, what to say to make him understand (I don't want to ask him directly because it can be a bit misleading). I'm afraid of this being just a "crush-situation" which faints over time because I can easily see my life by his side. I don't want him to react negatively if I tell him and to get his distances thinking i'm a weirdo or whatever. God I just want to get a bit fortunate in love and to be with him...Also, as you may think, i'm still closeted (well my bestfriends (both female) know about it, but not the others, nor my family); One of my brother (out of 3 brothers) is also gay and it doenst bother my parents, so I guess my family would be cool with it too and I would' gladly come out as bi/gay or whatever it needs if it can bring "him" in my life..That being said, if I ever come out (as I'm also attracted to girls (but I wanted to share my thoughts with you guys, having further opinions)), I'm afraid to just kill my chances with girls (because prejudices and blablabla) while my male friends will just try to avoid me (Who knows, I may turn them bi or gay ¯_(ツ)_/¯ by just standing next to them) NB: I'm being serious here, it may be funny, but i've already seen this and don't want it to happen in my case.Anyway, I just want some of your thoughts on the matter, what d'ya think, how can I sort all this out, and how can I finally get some peace from my mind and my heart driving me insane....Thank you all for reading, see you soon,
I need some advice or tips....
This is my first post and could really use some help but a bit about me, Im male and 27 and realised I was bi about 3 or 4 years ago though never had a boyfriend or done anything with a guy yet and haven't has a relationship in quite awhile but anyway this is what I need help with....So last week was my dads birthday and so we all went out for lunch (my parents and myself) to a small cafe and thats when a waiter caught my eye and now I think about him daily and might have my first guy crush lol so Im planning on asking him out soon but not sure if I should say a date or just for us to go for a coffee and get to know each other but not sure exactly what to say lol Im shy around new people and quiet most of the time with a little bit of social anxiety thrown in.Ok so what Im asking advice or tips with is with what to say and should I order something or just try talk to him. I know this all may be silly and whatnot but I've never asked a guy out before lol so any help is appreciated :)
Being gay and Asian
Hey guys, I had some thoughts and wanted to get some other perspectives.As the title suggests, I'm both gay and Asian. This has proven to be a tricky combination in the world of dating. At 21, and I've been out for 3 years, I have only really been on 2-3 dates. This isn't for a lack of trying either, I have used dating apps, been involved with clubs at school, etc.The recently had a more coherent version of thoughts I've had for a while. These thoughts surround my experience on dating apps like Tinder and the brutally 'honest' Grindr.Matches I receive on Tinder are few, and although I try to be proactive on my matches, there doesn't usually appear to be the same amount of effort by the other person. I understand this could be for a huge number of reasons.On Grindr the experience is worse. I get the most received messages and responses when I put a torso picture up with no ethnicity shown. All of that plummets once my face is included or my race is.Altogether, this experience has left me feeling rather undesirable and I wanted to speak to it. I agree, there is a difference between racism and preference. I don't think I'm in a position to call my experience racism against Asians, I think it's more an issue regarding standards of beauty and masculinity in Western society.I don't think it's wrong to say that white men have an advantage in the dating/hookup realm for gays. I also understand where a number of Asians are coming from when they are unsure whether others are actually attracted to them or if they are being fetishized (*spelling?). Here is my take on this.There is somewhat of a stereotype that many (not all) gay Asian men have a preference for only white men. I apologize for generalizing here, but there is also a stereotype that many (once again, not all) gay white men have a preference for other white men, and potentially a preference against Asians. What I see as the issue are those who are also attracted to Asians. This is a potentially confusing sentence, so I'll break it down.I've read a number of posts and write-ups of gay Asian men and their experiences similar to mine. What I find more interesting are the comments on these stories. There are a lot of comments from Caucasian men saying things along the lines of, "I don't know what this guy is talking about, I love Asians!" That brings me back to the murky waters of what is attraction and what is a fetish. When the responses are both anecdotal in nature AND have multiple implications, I don't feel good about the comment.I can't say that I have looked at every single comment out there and have done calculations to see what proportion of comments these make up. But from a decent glance, it looks to be at least a meaningful proportion.I'm not sure I was all the coherent here still, but I'd love to get some of your opinions on this.Hope it was at least a decent read!
How do i find another guy for an encounter?
So i've just gotten out of a long term relationship with a woman and i kind of miss 'the other side' the problem is now that i'm not in school it seems really hard to find someone to meet up with. Are there any particular sights or apps for this kind of thing in Australia?
Should I get to know him even with the most awkward way?
OK THIS IS A COPY FROM A POST I'VE MADE ON /ASKGAYBROSSo here’s the thing. I used to chat with a boy on Grindr and I really liked him. I wanted to get to know him better but also meet him but he told he that in he’s supposed to overtime so he won’t come. I talked about this guy to acquaintance of mine , who messaged to that. Not only it turned out that guy lied to me , but also hooked up with that acquaintance of mine , who (the acquaintance) showed me his messages in grindr. I felt kinda disappointed and dumbed. My acquaintance told me to let him go , because that guy is whore. So , it was yesterday night in Starbucks and I came across him. I regret that I didn’t find not even the most stupid way to catch his eye. We were to the closest , as I was waiting near the cash where that guy was ordering. He also made a brief eye contact .I waiting for my friends to find a place to sit . I felt the longing and emotions similar to falling in love. I found him on grindr and I messaged him .But as I realized he has forgotten me and his profile photo is not his face ( it’s a hand with a tattoo in it.The title was “Now” suggesting the he wants right now , aka sex .) but my profile has my own face pic .So I feel awkward to message him that I’ve seen him in Starbucks. I also know his fb , but I don’t know any way to interact with him there , because interacting with in facebook out of the blue , it will be awkward in my own opinion. I also won’t stay for a long time in my country , I got to get to the country I’m studying , so I don’t know really how to approach him. I don't mind about a hook up or something less/more , I want to get to know him.So what would be best for me , to interact with him in Grindr , facebook or just nah?
He just left me alone ...
Hi fellow men. I just want to share this with you because it is the most hatefull thing you can do...First about myself: I'm 24 and living in my appartement. No contact with my parents, i love to play games on my pc and with other people like Monopoly orso... i like to walk and i watch a lot of series.My boyfriend and i where together for a month (not long, i know) but nonetheless i loved him like nothing else. He came over on friday. We had a fun evening, no problems that i know of.I woke up saturdaymorning (arround 11am) and he was gone. No note, no text nothing that could indicate why he left.He blocked me on Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat etc...I texted him to ask what's going on. He didn't respond for like 4 hours. Then he texted: "I'm sorry but our "relationship" is done." I was shocked. I didn't see that one coming.... and he didn't respond on my other text is send him. And when I tried to call him a couple hours later the number was out of service. I guess he blocked my number to....This was 2weeks ago... merry Christmas? Meh :/Please guys, if you break up, or if you don't find yourself comfortable in your relationship. At least give your boyfriend or your ex some explanation. This is the hardest way I have ever been dumped.Thx for reading and a happy newyear!
I don't know
Honestly like I don't know. My friend has been saying that he doesn't understand how I can find hookups and stuff and he can't because I hookup with a good amount of guys but just to be clear these are guys my age with protection and everything (I'm a junior in high school). He can't find anybody to hook up with at our school or neighboring schools because he's not the most charismatic or attractive person so he has turned to grindr to find hookups. He recently hooked up with somebody who was at least 27 with absolutely no protection.I am usually like a whatever floats your boat kinda guy but I've heard so many awful stories about teens getting taken advantage of by adults and I obviously know the dangers of unprotected sex ecspecially with a grindr hookup.I tried to talk to him and I was like hey this isn't ok but he was like "it's fine the guy showed me the papers so he doesn't have STDs" but I'm still worried about the fact that he is going to continue to find adults on grindr and hookup with them because he's a horny jealous moron.How do I stop him from doing this? I don't like him at all in fAct he annoys the fuck out of me but I want him to be safe and I would feel absolutely awful if he was taken advantage of or if he got sick. I just need advice on how to approach this situation. Thank you :)
If you were to move to Canada where would the best place, and warmest place to go?
Like the title says. Any advice is appreciated.I want to see if i could move out of the US in a year to 3 years.
In serious need of suggestions!
My fiancé and I didn't get to spend Christmas together so now I'm rushing to try to find him something. When I asked him what he wanted he said things like nice pens, (he's a writer) or something to put on his desk, he's a huge philosopher nerd and I'm completely lost. Under 60$ would be good since we just splurged on a big vacation last month. All help is welcome! thank you :)
Sexless Relationship
I'm a 24yo (M) dating a 21yo (M) for a little over a year now. Before entering this relationship I had never dated anyone and I was a virgin. When me and mySO became boyfriends I was dead set on making things official, and the eventual goal of marriage. So that's the path we took. My SO has been with the gamut of people and in my naviety was shocked by it. I've been generally happy in the realtionship, but I struggle now with the personal issues of marriage when I have yet to explore my own sexuality. My SO and I never had a very active sex life, with the first 6months of our relationship being me wanting to wait because I wanted to make sure he was the right guy, and the past 9 months being little to no sex. Throughout our 15 month relationship we've had sex possibly 8 times, with some of those times being on the same day. At this point we haven't had sex since July. There were times when he was concerned about cleanliness and then there were time when I would be pushed away and there were times when he was say why dont you just ask. Which I'm not opposed too, but my image of a desirable sex life wasnt me asking for sex, and like mechanically, and unemotionally he would fufill the order. So I began to feel alot of things. 1. I became resentful, mostly because I felt rejected, and confused, because before our realtionship my boyfriend had a very colorful sexual past, why couldn't we have that. 2. Fearful. This is the only sexual experience I have ever had, if we continue on together is this what I have to look forward to. I felt cheated because I felt I was giving up the opportunity to have sex with any other person for him but our sex life was stagnant and unfufilling. So after countless arguments about this with no real resoultion we were stuck. i repressed my sexual feelings for months, that eventually didnt work. Scared that I was losing my "best years" to a sexless relationship I looked outwardly to fufill my sexual needs. I hooked-up with a few guys, but the last guy I hooked-up with scared me because I began to develop slight feelings for I stop contacting him altogether. Before you morally shame me, think of where I came from. I was a virgin originally, with full intent of bein faithful but after expressing my needs and them not being met, I began to seek other things. At this present moment I care about my SO alot. I know I love him, but I know I have more living to do. I'm afraid that if I leave someone who loves me unconditionally I'll regret it, but I'm also afraid of not having my needs met sexually in my primetime. What should I do, stay or go? Ps my SO told me he wouldnt want to know if he was ever cheated on.
2016. december 26., hétfő
Have a tube of lip gloss stuck in my ass. What do i do?
I have a tube of lip gloss stuck in my ass and i have no idea how to get it out. Will it just come ot on its own or do i need to do something?
Both straight sex and gay sex is wrong!
Is it a sin to be gay or engage in homosexual behaviour? If you like a guy I don't think that is wrong. As long as you "truly" love him and aren't just doing it to get laid. If you decided to have sex with that man I believe that isn't right. I believe straight people can do it, but only for the soul purpose to have a kid and not just for a good time. I feel like it's a sin to have sex in straight or gay relationships if your only doing it for sex.Tell me what you think.I don't personally think sex is a bad thing. I just want to get feedback from people on my idea.
Married and curious.
I'm sure I'm not the only one. I'm a married guy that has always been curious to be a bottom. I sometimes get off on gay massage porn and would love to find a situation like that but I'm afraid of Craigslist and I'm too discreet to go to any gay bars. I don't know what to do so I'm here on Reddit seeking any advice.Thanks!
Wtf am i?
OK so I (m16) have a conundrum. I have never gotten hard seeing a guy, had a gay sexual experience, or anything of the sexual nature, but I have had crushes on multiple guys. But here's where it gets funny. While I have never had a crush on a girl or anything like that, I have experienced sexual attraction to girls. So reddit, what am I?
Meet gay guys?
Where can I meet hot fit guys who are into twinks and aren't all just about sex but also like to talk and get to know each other? I'm on a few apps but idk if there is any great websites or apps I'm missing?
Gay, 18, closeted— Is dating even possible?
Now, before you guys read this I want you to realize that I am not some spoiled, desperate 18-year-old dude. I like to think of myself as someone who is ambitious, hard-working, and fun— but it always feels like something— or someone— is missing.I am closeted. Coming out most likely wouldn't be a big deal, either. And that's coming from someone who overanalyzes virtually everything he does. I mean, hell… My gay uncle is practically staying with my parents and I for the next month. They don't even care. But what's holding me back is my anxiety and insecurity over my sexuality.I attend a university that is thirty minutes away, so I don't stay on campus. I've tried using apps like Grindr and Jack'd, but all them dudes just want sex. What's worse is that my uncle is on those apps too, so I have to make sure he's blocked and can't see me since I'm closeted. Wouldn't want him figuring out his nephew is an "otter."So, my question to you dudes: Is it possible to date when you're closeted? If so, how?
Saying what you want and self-doubt in gay relationships
I've been sating my boyfriend for almost two months. Things have been going amazingly well, but I've been doubting things for the last couple of days. I called my best friend (also gay) tonight because I've been an emotional mess the last two days. I asked him why I put so much self-doubt into my romantic relationships. He said that it's pretty normal for people to do that and he does it, too. We get to a point where we start to really like someone and we open up to them. We start to make ourselves feel vulnerable and when we beginning feeling like we may get hurt, we look for reasons to run. So I decided to call my boyfriend and I had a discussion that basically went like this:I want both of us to be able to be completely open and honest about our feelings and I feel like we're pretty much that way already. You already know that I like you a tremendous amount and I am probably gonna sound crazy in saying all this but I want to express how I feel. I am totally just crazy about you and I care about you a tremendous amount and I think that leads to me opening up a lot and make myself sort of vulnerable. Sometimes when I do that I can create these crazy ideas in my head that things aren't going exactly right or they're not going exactly how I want them to go and I get past that but I wanted to see how you feel? I think this is because in my head, I feel like things with you are going so well that it's almost too good to be true, and it's true." He said he's been thinking some of the same things the last couple of days, and he feels like things are going just as amazingly well as I think they are, and he's totally into me as much as I am him. AT first he was worried that I was about to break things off with him when I started talking, but he feels really good about everything, too.When I got in my car, I texted him and said, "I feel so much better after that discussion. Thank you." He wrote back with, "Good! It makes me really happy that we're on the same page and can talk about things like that. I think we're both lucky guys (insert kissy face emoji)."Here's the lesson: When it comes to your relationships, romantic or otherwise, I think you should just say whatever it is you want to say, and say it with conviction regardless of how you think other people are going to perceive it, because it's how YOU really feel. And if you're in a relationship where you can't be you or you can't have your own feelings, you're in the wrong relationship.
Relationship advice needed
I have a boyfriend that I've been with for almost half a year without any sexual contact. I genuinely believe we have something but I've always had sex-based relationships; am I stupid for holding out waiting for him to feel that it's the right time. I'm beginning to think he has depression and it distances us, could definitely use some advice here because I'm losing my mind.
Just kickin back lookin to see if anyone wants to chat some.
Gonna see if this gets any response. lol. I have a chat room open at http://ift.tt/2hhPtwP See if that works better than having to refresh here all the time.
Dating advice
So this type of thing has probably been asked on here a multitude of times, but I just want some discussions. So I am a 17 (18 in the start of January) year old lad in college currently who has been single for almost a year now. My last, and only, relationship was long distance (about 260 miles) and I have had sex a few times, whether or not that is relevant. There are one or two gay people in my college, and the only one I would be interested in has already stated he wouldn't do anything with me. I just want to know what any of you guys would advise for how someone like myself would go about dating. I have Grindr but no really wants much of a relationship on there, and if they do they are way out of my age range. Going to bars also worries me a bit at the minute as I am underage and if I am looking for someone in there, they all seem to be (similar to Grindr) looking for a shag or out of my age range. What do I do to find someone, as I am just getting kind of bored of being single. Thanks in advance for any comments :p
Worth saying something?
Hey guys,So I'm a sophomore doing my undergrad and a few months ago I was assigned a grad student as a mentor from my college. I've never dated anyone and I've accepted that I'll probably be alone for a lot of my life... honestly it doesn't sound that bad. This is the first guy I've felt differently about and I'd give anything to be with him. He checks every box. I'm 75% sure he's straight but I honestly can't get a good read on him. He finishes grad school here in the spring and then he'll be moving to another country. My question is if it is even worth asking which way he swings? Even if he is into guys, is it responsible/fair to get into a relationship knowing that there is an expiration date that is fast approaching?
Straight or nah ?
I thought that im straight , because i always liked lesbian porn and boobs nd stuff , but today i saw gay porn that got me hard like in sec and cum after 30 sec . Help ?
Help me decide to leave my boyfriend
So many things are wrong about this situation but I can't bring myself to leave him. Somehow I'm so addicted and infatuated with him still and can't break this feeling of attachment.We are very good together 90% of the time. We've been together 2 years and he lives with me.But he's too young -- I'm 34 and he's 24.Not sure if this matters but he's from abroad, which might explain some of our different approaches to things.We have few common interests: he prefers gaming and movies, whereas I like intellectual conversations and exploring cities.He's been unwilling to pay his share of the rent because he's only working part time.... but it's his own choice to only work part time.He occasionally has a really bad temper. If he gets upset about something, he doesn't hesitate to unfairly blame everything on me, and has almost zero empathy or ability to see things from my perspective. This happens about every 4 months or so where he hollers and screams about something, threatens to leave me (even though the thing he's mad about wasn't really my fault), but he calms down after a few hours and gets sweet again and everything is fine (even though the actual issue wasn't resolved).I also have good reason to think I'm "not enough" for him. He claims to be happy in our monogamous relationship. But he's continually refused to delete his suite of dating apps, claiming that it's fun to use it to network and make platonic friends. He occasionally meets hot guys from the apps for coffee or lunch, openly acknowledging that he enjoys the flirtatious validation from these meetings, and completely having no empathy for how I might feel threatened by this and has essentially told me to get over it. He claims it's fully platonic but admitted to making out with one of them once for about 30 seconds. Also whenever we go to a club together he tells me to stop being so clingy and goes and tries to dance with other hot guys (whether it's our friends or randos). I heard rumors that he has sometimes been truly unfaithful but he denied this and I've been unable to confirm. And this has all been giving me huge anxiety lately and left me a big mess.I know when I say it all like that at once it sounds terrible. But we really are super good together 90% of the time and i'd really rather not give him up. I just feel kind of like I have to give him up, but I haven't accepted it yet. He's even been talking lately about marriage, house, kids together...and he's so pretty and he has a fun attitude in a way that would be hard to replace....and my parents really like him....and after 2 years of emotional investment and intertwined lives I'm hesitant to just start over, especially at my age...
Crossing the Great Divide?
I'm not sure why I want to share this but I do. About a year ago I met a professional writer through a mutual friend. I wanted to find someone to edit an article for me before I submitted it for publication in a professional journal. My friend told me that the writer worked a lot with new writers and would most likely help out. He was right. I met up with this writer at a restaurant and was impressed with his accomplishments, I had actually read about him in magazines and newspapers and was suddenly afraid his services would be extremely costly. Randy Jernigan it turns out was one of the sweetest men I think I've ever met. Right away he committed to do the edit for me then we just hung out for the next 3 hours and chatted. It didn't take me long to realize that Randy was gay. Not that he made any kind of advance toward me, but he had inadvertently admitted to the fact several times during the conversation. I totally enjoyed the 3 hour window I got to spend with Randy. After I got the edited version of my article (there was only 1 mistake!) I ask Randy to go out to dinner with me as an expression of appreciation and so we could chat some more. His stories were fun and some even heart tugging. I was really impressed--and strangely attracted. Randy was not someone I would usually consider as a sexual partners-he was in his mid-fifties, thinning hair and glasses. And a bit of a warn look. Not my type at all. Yet I was feeling a bit more confused after out 2 hour dinner and long walk down by the lake. I've always had my issues with most of the guys I date. I'm a model and I tend to date a lot of pretty nice looking men. Most would think that doesn't seem like a real problem, but most of these guys--about 98% of them, were shallow and boring. By the end of my date I was totally confused. Holy shit I was attracted to this man, I got chills just talking to him and his touch was enough to turn me on. But WOW was he different. If my friends saw me with this guy they'd probably think he was my sugardaddy. But I really didn't care what other thought. I really liked Randy. Our 4th date was at Randy's apartment. Pizza and Harry Potter. But when I came through the door I couldn't help myself--I dropped the pizza down on the table next to the door, and grabbed the man and kissed him. OMG!!! I think we kissed for at least an hour. The pizza was cold and we never got around to the videos. I've never been treated so wonderfully before. It's true that older men know how to treat you. His respect, technique and tenderness was amazing. No one had ever made me feel so loved and appreciated before. I feel that, as a person, I crossed a great divide during that relationship. My career took me away and I only see Randy now and then, but I still dream of those long walks and the chills that went up and down my arms when he touched me in that certain way he had.
20 Year Old Virgin
To begin, I would like to address that I am 19 going on 20 and haven't had any sexual encounter with any man since coming out as gay when I was in the 7th grade, not even kissing. I have no problem admitting that I am in fact a virgin, and have never had a legitimate boyfriend.Being raised in multiple states and moving constantly while growing up, I've never gotten to become romantically involved with any other boys. In middle school, I was just discovering myself just like everyone else and the relationships that I witnessed were never successful. I was far too focused on my schooling and no other boys wanted to come out anyways.In high school, the story was similar. I was fully open with my sexuality and everyone pretty much accepted me for who I was. I was, again, far too involved with the thought of graduating and getting the hell out of school to do what I wanted to do with my life. Not many of my fellow classmates were out and the ones that were I was not attracted to.I now live on my own and still a virgin. I am still quite young and I'm simply waiting for the right man to come along. I'm not necessarily waiting for marriage but I want to have a romantic 'first time'. I hate the idea of meeting anyone solely for sex, it's not my thing.I haven't had much luck with dating apps like OkCupid or POF. Nobody seems to want to talk or hang out. I guess my question is if anyone has any advice for me when it comes to dating as a young gay man.Thank you for your help!
Beautiful Thing - Movie
"Beautiful Thing" may be one of the best movies EVER with a "gay topic". Re Watching with a friend tonight. Recommended.
Gay movies on PopcornTime ?
Anyone know of any (U.S.) gay-themed movies on PopcornTime? So far I've been able to watch Brokeback Mountain and Shelter. And I've seen Weekend.Idkkkk I'm just in the mood to watch a gay-themed movie that isn't cheesy as fuuuuuccckk. I can't go on Netflix or anything cuz the fam will see the watch history :(Hopefully I'll get some good titles? Thanks in advance !! :)
Just wanted to provide everyone with some motivation
I know there are a lot of people who read this sub that are trying to come out but aren't sure how or are too scared to start.I just wanted to share my story from today. I came out to my mother, and it went really well. She was super chilled out about it and totally embraced me. I know I have a ways to go, but it's a start!I just want to say to everyone struggling, that you will get there. I know how it feels to sit here and lurk on reddit and feel like coming out is a distant reality, but take it from me - you'll get there! And it will be all the more wonderful when you're finally able to live life the way you want to!Happy (late) Christmas :)
Australia supports LGBT people? A big lie!
For those who don't know the full story, you can check my post history. The summary of the story is that I am not safe and I need any kind of help or protection. I am posting this because people keep telling me 'Get out of Egypt! Get out!' as if it is really easy or possible. Guys, your countries themselves don't want me to get out to their lands. Please be reasonable. I am posting my story with Australian embassy in Cairo as a an example of how nasty foreign policies are. I will post my stories with other embassies (especially the Dennish one) later.I sent my story to their facebook page. They ignored the message and didn't reply. After 2 months, I sent an update. They ignored it and they didn't reply. I called them by phone: - Good morning = Good morning! I'm egyptian and I have a small question - What? [in Arabic, in a very degrading way] = I have a humanitarian case and I need your suggestions. Can I come to the embassy tomorrow by myself? - We don't have immigration programs for Egyptian people. = OK thank you.Their website actually states that there are immigration programs for egyptians, and there is support for humanitarian cases! I sent them again on Facebook, but this time I told them that I will publish my story to the guardian/buzzfeed, and that I will show the world how their embassy reacted to my story. Imagine what? they replied. They forwarded me to their email address. I sent the story to their email address. No reply, as expected. So all what I was able to do is to send them the following message: "Thank you for supporting LGBT minorities by ignoring my email. Anyway I finally realized that I didn't need your help. I am a strong man. I faced the Egyptian military itself with my homosexuality. Could anyone of you stand in front of homophobic muslim generals declaring your homosexual desires? Could anyone of you confront your professors at university with your homosexuality, without fear of being rejected? Could anyone on this planet manage to study and become the top student over their class in a tough major (computer engineering) under all this stress? I am stronger and smarter than you. Strong to the point that I can survive without your help. I won't degrade myself again by asking homophobic hypocrites for help. I will survive."This is just a small example of how countries treat humanitarian LGBT cases like me. So please guys, relax and give me practical solutions, instead of keep telling me to get help from such an awkward world. I will keep publishing my story and I will show the whole world how Australia, Denmark, Canada, Norway, and other countries are big liars. I am talking about policies, not people. I respect all Australians in this forum and I know they understand my situation. But they got to know the truth of the policies held by their country. Thank you friends.
What's the origin of the LGBT community tribes?
I know that the tribes "twink, bear, otter, etc" have been around long before grindr. But in LGBT history, what were they really for beforehand?
Has anyone else experienced this?
Im a 20 year old guy going through college. I have known I've been sexually attracted to men since I was about a freshman in high school. I dont deny im attracted to men. I have had my share of sexual in counters with other men. However, my question is I cannot see myself having a long term relationship with another man. Like when I in vision my future I see myself with a beautiful girlfriend who I can travel the world with. I don't seek any relationship s with men other than a hookup. The thing is the first time I got in bed with another girl in high school, I couldn't get an erection. Ever since then ive been terrifier to embarrass myself like that again. This makes me question if I am truly only attracted to men or do I suffer from ED. Yet when im with a male I dont have a problem getting it up. Did other bisexuals go through this? Or is my mind still in denial that Im full out gay and won't picture myself with a man for the rest of my life?
2016. december 25., vasárnap
Openly gay rapper Zaxi would like to thank people and this subreddit
Hi! My name is Zaxi! I would like to thank any one and everyone who listened to my music this past week. Its hard to find the right people to reach out to making music in a mostly homophobic genre. I also post as a different user and I am very greatful for this reddit being around giving all of us an outlet to communicate. I appreciate every single person who has taken the time out of their life to listen to my songs and give me a chance. If you havn't heard us yet i belong to Prime & PM and I may be able to give you something in your life you havnt gotten yet. Heres another one: http://ift.tt/2i6J8pW
Coming out to my Brother
I don't really know if i should be posting this here or in a different subreddit but I will ask anyways.Basically I plan on coming out over the next month or so to my family starting with my brother tomorrow. I know I need to tell him Im gay of course but what else should I say? What are some things I can say to lead into telling him?
I don't think I'm gay but..
I'm really masculine, I'm your stereotypical 6'3 muscular leader who a lot of people depend on and look up to, but honestly beyond my facade I have a desire to be female. I think I've found within myself why, it's because the glorified role of having sex for males, while its frowned upon for females. I hate the pressure that I now see that we all endure. I don't think I'm gay, but a small part of me would like to finally get a break in the assumed societal feminine role, and instead of being pressured to have sex, I'd rather be sexually repressed, why? Because this desire for sex has consumed many hours of my life, I wish my mind wasn't always on the subject, but liberated beyond it. I know a lot of this stuff is just my assumptions based on societal norms, but it's all for lack of better examples. Feel free to educate me, I only seek knowledge, not to harm anyone personally, so please, forgive me if it seems ignorant.
If you're gay and want someone of the same sex, why is there always a "butch" and a "submissive"?
You really see this with lesbians. One is always wearing ties with short hair and being the "male," while the other is girly. What gives?
What's in an Orientation?
As someone who still feels like on the outside looking in I can't help but ask what is in an orientation? Besides pride events it all just seems like hookups and clubs. I guess my real question is how can we collectively define what our community by and large stands for and how can we build more around that (especially in smaller cities where there are less resources).Thanks,
(NSFW) I have been thinking of trying out Grindr.
Az összesítés nem áll rendelkezésre. A bejegyzés megtekintéséhez
kattints ide.
Hello! So what did you guys get for Christmas, and how was your day?
I want to hear how your day was, and what you got! I got Special Edition Skyrim for Xbox One, and Star Wars: Battlefront for pc. My day was amazing, and I was able to visit my brothers and my neice. I hardly get to see them, so it was a very special day.
Being gay, depression, sex, health anxiety… [venting / discussion]
Hey everyone. So I’ll start by saying that this post is mostly going to be about some of the more negative aspects of my life related to my sexuality. I am out, but don’t really have any gay friends that can relate to some of the things I experience and I think I just need to vent. If anyone has any insights or can relate I’d be happy to hear back and talk about it. So I’ll start with a little bit about me. I grew up where homophobia was the norm, so I spent most of my time as a teenager in denial about my sexuality. While quite a few of my ‘friends’ starting around middle school time clearly noticed some differences in my behavior and would make fun of me for being gay, I managed to cover it up and pass as straight through high school. I tried to deal with all my repressed feelings mostly with drugs and alcohol (easily accessible at that age where I was), but also developed a perfectionist mentality (looking back I see this as me trying to compensate for being ‘flawed’). I started coming out around the end of High School / beginning of University. Admitting it to myself was probably the biggest challenge at first, as all of my friends and my older brother turned out to be really supportive. Coming out to my parents didn’t go as well, but in the end it worked out better than I had expected (i.e. I didn’t get disowned, they told me they still loved me but would never accept it, had to deal with a few months of them trying to convince me otherwise, asking me if I had tried this or that, how I needed to go on hormone therapy, how I should try things like conversion camps, etc.). I moved to a new city after that, and in the next few years I worked on my relationship with my parents / family, and now everything is fine. At this point my entire extended family knows (except for my ridiculously homophobic aunt), and my parents have no problem talking about it. Unfortunately, spending all that time trying to repress my sexuality with drugs/alcohol led to some pretty severe depression. Spending my first few years of University trying to ignore the depression and focus on school just made my mental health worse (especially with the perfectionist mentality). The way things ended up, I just spent/spend most of my time isolating myself and pushing people away. While I’ve made a lot of progress dealing with my mental health and repressed issues at this point, it’s tough and things take time to get better. I do make more of an effort to be social, but all of my friends right now and straight and very introverted. As you can imagine, this makes meeting other gay men pretty difficult. This gets me to what I really want to talk about – sex, relationships, all that fun stuff. My thoughts about all this are a bit jumbled, so I’ll try to be as coherent as possible. My sexuality / sex drive pretty much drives me crazy. Currently, I’m not having sex with anyone and don’t use any hookup apps. While I have hooked up before with guys I don’t know very well (friends of friends mostly) and guys that I’ve met online, I try to avoid hookups because I get really bad health anxiety and I also just don’t really like that feeling I get after being intimate with a stranger. I know some of my health anxiety is irrational, while some is justified, and I am educated when it comes to disease transmission / risk and safe sex. Part of my problem is definitely also low self-esteem, because of poor self-care habits right now and some body image problems and stuff (as I mentioned, depression). I have a high sex drive, so I spend a lot of my time sexually frustrated, which has become really tolling. I masturbate a lot, but it doesn’t really help. It just makes me tense/tired at this point, but I still end up doing it anyways. I live in a bigger city, and so I know hookups are always an option. I’m just so reluctant to meet guys for casual sex (off grindr, for example) because of my health anxiety. The way I see it, some guy on grindr that is willing to meet for sex with me on a whim is likely doing that often with a lot of other guys. From a safety standpoint I’m just not comfortable with that. Obviously there are condoms, which are great. Health anxiety isn’t the most rational thing, so it still happens even being safe. Oral with condoms is also an option, and I’ve done it before, but it really is not enjoyable for me. Realistically speaking, I know it’s possible that the condom wouldn't stay on with oral sex (definitely NOT the case with anal). Honestly, even making out with a stranger off a hookup site would make me feel somewhat anxious (I don’t even like to share drinks with my friends normally). The anxiety surrounding it all is a lot less now than it was at the very beginning, but it’s still there. So the options seem to be to hookup as safely as I can, or to not do it at all. Knowing that I will experience the anxiety, while also not really wanting to be intimate with a stranger, makes me choose to avoid it if I can. This is a problem because the sexual frustration that builds up has an extremely negative and pervasive impact on my life and health. Avoiding hookups while knowing they are an easy option also requires a lot of self-control. I just don’t have enough self-control / energy to mitigate my suicidal ideology, sex drive, and academic obligations (yes, I have sought professional help for my mental health, and I’m planning to take some time off after finishing school after next semester, it’s just not really an option right now). If I did end up hooking up with someone, I’m afraid that I would have a lapse in self-control and cave easily if they pressured me to not use protection. I’m not sure if it is a result of me trying to repress my sexual urges, but recently I have been having pretty frequent fantasies about engaging in risky sexual behavior – I really do fully understand the risks/implications of these behaviors, and so want to do what I can to make sure these don’t ever become anything more than fantasies. Given where I’m at in life right now, I don’t really have the time or self-esteem to explore dating. My life is a mess, and I need to have more control and stability before I think I’ll be able to go out and meet people with the intention of dating. That just takes time. It’s unfortunate, as I think I’ve missed out on a few opportunities with some pretty great guys in the past few years. Like I mentioned, I do tend to isolate myself, and even putting effort into trying to make friends is tough (I really would like some gay friends). I could probably go on forever, but if you read all that then thanks for listening to me vent. If you did make it this far, I do have some questions as well. For starters, I’m beginning to feel like grindr / hookups are just the norm for gay men. I know a lot of people are into that, and I hope I didn’t come off as being judgmental, if you’re happy/comfortable with hookups then that’s fine. Part of me is just starting to feel like it’s something that I just need to get over and get on board with if I want to deal with my sexual frustration. Being in a relationship would be great, but I know that’s something that can’t be forced. I’m not really opposed to casual sex at all, but is it unrealistic for me to want to be able to have sex with people that I at least know and trust to some extent? I don’t know if I’ve just been feeling overly negative about it recently, but I feel more and more that the reality of being gay is that everyone just fucks everyone (besides a small number of committed relationships), with a line drawn between people that do and don’t use protection. I guess what I’d like to know is, based on your experiences, does it seem to you like there’s just a problem with my mentality when it comes to sex? Is it realistic for me to want to hold out until I can meet gay men that aren’t part of the hookup scene to have sex with? Or, similarly, to wait until I meet the right person to be in a relationship with that isn’t part of the hookup scene? Maybe it’s a flawed way to look at it, but I feel like if there isn’t a good chance of those things happening then it might be better to try and change the way I look at things and try to hookup as safely as I can. After all, assuming I do end up eventually meeting someone that I’m comfortable having sex with or that I want to be in a long term relationship with, I feel like if they have actively been part of the hookup scene then I’m exposing myself to a similar amount of risk (obviously I know sleeping with more people is more risk, but I think I’m looking at it this way as a consequence of seeing the hookup scene sort of like everyone having sex with everyone, so sleeping with someone is kind of like sleeping with everyone they've been with). If that’s most likely the case anyways, part of me feels like I should save myself the frustration and just try to go out and meet at least some of my sexual needs. On the other hand, I don’t want to push myself to go down that road if there’s a good chance of me making friends and/or finding a partner with a similar mentality. I know that was a lot. For anyone who did read all that, thank you. I guess I’m just a bit lost right now, and could use some input from people who have more experience (and from anyone who can relate to this at all). I apologize if the post comes across as being overly negative, it has been a particularly rough few months.
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