Being gay and Asian

Hey guys, I had some thoughts and wanted to get some other perspectives.As the title suggests, I'm both gay and Asian. This has proven to be a tricky combination in the world of dating. At 21, and I've been out for 3 years, I have only really been on 2-3 dates. This isn't for a lack of trying either, I have used dating apps, been involved with clubs at school, etc.The recently had a more coherent version of thoughts I've had for a while. These thoughts surround my experience on dating apps like Tinder and the brutally 'honest' Grindr.Matches I receive on Tinder are few, and although I try to be proactive on my matches, there doesn't usually appear to be the same amount of effort by the other person. I understand this could be for a huge number of reasons.On Grindr the experience is worse. I get the most received messages and responses when I put a torso picture up with no ethnicity shown. All of that plummets once my face is included or my race is.Altogether, this experience has left me feeling rather undesirable and I wanted to speak to it. I agree, there is a difference between racism and preference. I don't think I'm in a position to call my experience racism against Asians, I think it's more an issue regarding standards of beauty and masculinity in Western society.I don't think it's wrong to say that white men have an advantage in the dating/hookup realm for gays. I also understand where a number of Asians are coming from when they are unsure whether others are actually attracted to them or if they are being fetishized (*spelling?). Here is my take on this.There is somewhat of a stereotype that many (not all) gay Asian men have a preference for only white men. I apologize for generalizing here, but there is also a stereotype that many (once again, not all) gay white men have a preference for other white men, and potentially a preference against Asians. What I see as the issue are those who are also attracted to Asians. This is a potentially confusing sentence, so I'll break it down.I've read a number of posts and write-ups of gay Asian men and their experiences similar to mine. What I find more interesting are the comments on these stories. There are a lot of comments from Caucasian men saying things along the lines of, "I don't know what this guy is talking about, I love Asians!" That brings me back to the murky waters of what is attraction and what is a fetish. When the responses are both anecdotal in nature AND have multiple implications, I don't feel good about the comment.I can't say that I have looked at every single comment out there and have done calculations to see what proportion of comments these make up. But from a decent glance, it looks to be at least a meaningful proportion.I'm not sure I was all the coherent here still, but I'd love to get some of your opinions on this.Hope it was at least a decent read!