A poem I wrote about a year ago

[Background after poem]I've never had pneumonia or cancer, I've never broken a bone or twisted an ankle, But I've been in a hospital for so long I feel like I've memorized every room. Days are long and nights longer; sleep desired and elusiveNo one knows I am sick and no one ever will.By no means is an apple about to plummet from the tree No shoelace tied No tic-tacs primed Rather a dollar can only purchase so much oil. I won't burnoutbut I will be exhausted.Exhausted of screaming to others of confidence while negitivity whispers in my hungry ears. I used to deny I was sick or that it was even a sickness, but it really is just my opinion.My opinion- something I hate. I feel like everyone in the world loves, but my opinion differs. My opinion says comfort and love are things out of reach; like bright twinkles in the sky. If I could reach those bright twinkles I would; but from under the mountain's shadow I can't see them anymore. Crawling up a mountain just to grasp at what you can't have- stupid.But wasting away in the underbrush I am tired of.For now I'll hide away behind long sleeves and grades higher than the love I have for myself; because no matter how much you hate me for my illness:I will always hate myself more[Background]If you couldn't tell I am a closeted homosexual who is sad. I wrote this poem a little over a year ago, after something small snowballed into something unbearable.I usually write little things when I am stuck in a low place. When I write down my thoughts somewhere I feel as though I've put them away. Like I don't have to think about it anymore.I've been browsing this subreddit for a while now and I am glad it exists; you are all lovely people. I always loved (this is going to sound messed up) reading the despressi g poems and heart-breaking true stories. They make me feel not alone. That makes me happy.I have about a metric ton of these self-loathing little speeches. Even with all that experience I am by no means an author or grammatical Einstein, but I like writing.I think it's cool.Today was a good day- the first in a while. I felt like I could share some of my sad junk over the internet so maybe someone over the internet could feel not alone.That would be really cool.[Tl;Dr] Whatever you're going through right now just know a strange gay teen over the internet believes in you.