Riddled with Bullshit.

I was sitting in my mom's living room, all cozied up on the couch with my dog; I had just found one of my favorite tv shows online from a while ago, "Dead Like Me". The episode began, and I was captivated and reminded of why I loved sneakily watching it as a kid.My bliss was short lived after my brother's friend came in, along with my younger brother, (they're in their early twenties) telling me that my other brother (middle child) is drunk, fighting his friend in the middle of the street. This was the fifth time this week that he was drunk and acting a fool. I warned my younger brother, who is very well put together for a 21 year old, not to get involved to avoid getting involved in the drunken typhoon I call my middle brother.The door rattles and I can hear my drunken brother screaming at his friends through the door, and I can hear the rain pounding down behind the drunken mess and his friends. He begins to say that he's the alpha male and everything is about dominance and begins to swing at all his friends. If they wanted, he would "take them outside".Little by little, we all get involved, including my 63 year old disabled mother. I'm pretty sure the whole neighborhood could hear us screaming. Of course when it was my turn to take the brunt of his words, he brought out the only thing he has against me: That I am a Faggot. I simply replied that no matter whom I may love, I will always be more of a man than he. Of course, he outed me infront of all of his conservative Arabic friends, and things got kinda awkward.I went up stairs as a result of my mom pleading with me to stop responding to him. I sat there, in the upstairs hallway, eating my goldfish crackers of course, listening. I heard a new, bellowing voice. It was my older, ex-priest cousin. He was always called when family matters for anyone got out of hand. I heard my brother fabricating lies about how I cussed him out over the phone, or something ridiculous; the boy was belligerent.My cousin pleaded with him to realize that he needs to get professional help for his alcoholism. My brother laughed and told him to leave before he "fucked up his life".Before I knew it, my brothers and I were downstairs, fighting with my older cousin, and mother, who were blaming US for "fueling his fire" when we were just reacting to his insanity.Bearing the remnant hidden shame that I had long forgotten about being gay, I was enraged and felt exposed. I retaliated by telling them that we're humans too, and that he's simply a monkey provoking us, as the drunk screams at us to "come, come, come on, let's go!"My cousin pinned my brother down on the couch, and I looked over to my mom, who was now sobbing over the kitchen table, asking god what she had done wrong to deserve this? This wasn't the first, second, third, or even tenth time my brother had done this."Look! Look at what you're doing to her!" I shouted at my brother. My cousin, who was bent over the couch, holding my brother down, turned his shining bald head and said "You are too!"I lost it. I was, again, being blamed for all of this when I was simply sitting infront of the television, trying to enjoy my long lost show. I grabbed my stuff (My backpack full of MCAT stuff 😂) and I left.Unluckily for me, my car is in the shop, and it's raining. I tried to get to the trolley and wait until it started running so that I could get to my apartment. I've been walking around the streets with my backpack, flip flops and my shorts, aimlessly. Happy mother fucking new year.