Straight guy gay experience, awful:(

Hey guys this is my first post on reddit and I'm pretty shit at writing so apologies if this is a crap read haha anyway I feel like I need to get this out but there is no way I am telling my friends or family so hey why not share it with reddit ,. Let me start of by saying I am 100% straight, I love pussy and everything about girls :P but the other night me and a few mates where at a club and long story short some dude came up to me and said 'yo man I got some coke, you want some?' Me being drunk as fuck and stupid said yeah, we went to a near by ally way (classy I know -.-) and we did a couple of lines, then out of no where this guy kissed me, it took me of guard so I kissed him back before I pushed him of me, then he starts feeling my down stairs and some how I get a boner :( he whips it out and starts sucking me of, it felt nice and me being drunk didn't stop him but then he stopped on his own, after that he pulled his pants down and asked me to 'put it in' I did but for literally about 5 seconds, reality hit me so I quickly pulled out and pulled up my jeans. I then went on a drinken ramble saying 'if you tell anyone I'll kill you, I'm straight' (out of order saying that I know but when I'm drunk I can be an ass hole. We went our separate ways after him saying 'don't let on o me if you see me In the club so I think he's kept his gayness from his mates. I woke up today feeling so shit about it all, I feel guilty and ashamed, I'm so paranoid now that he's going to tell some one, if he does I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel so bad now like I want to die I've never regretted anything more in my life(don't get me wrong I have nothing against gays ATALL) I just feel bad because I'm straight and what I did just feels so wrong. So yeah I had to get this out, and I'm just wondering if anyone else had had a similar experience and feels bad like me. I'm sorry if I come across offensive in any of this. I really need some support right now, I'm thinking about seeing a councillor but I don't know yet. Apologies for poorly constructed writing btw.