The (very difficult) situation of a gay teen

Well... hi everyone. I'm a 17-year-old Italian gay boy. I'm facing a very difficult period because of my homosexuality. I hope I'll get some advice, but I'm writing here mostly to vent my disperation.I'm gay; I have always known that, but nobody else does. My parents and my friends don't know I'm gay; probably they haven't guessed that because I'm not femine, I look quite straight, even tho I like guys. So, basically, I can't lean on anybody IRL.Why haven't I told them already? Here things get quite tricky. While I'm sure that my mom would at least try to understand how I feel and help me out, my dad is very homophobic. The last thing I want to discover in my life, is that my son is a faggot, I heard him say more than once. I still could tell my mom and not my dad but, you know, she isn't that good at keeping secrets, so I'm still not very convinced. I also have a brother, who is no less homophobic then my father.What about my friends? Well, I have very few. My schoolmates are almost my only friends. This is due to the fact that I'm shy, socially anxious, and I don't like sports (while everybody else does here). So, I'm already quite lonely, and I'm sure I'd become even more lonely if I did came out, because (at least here), no teen wants to hang out with a gay. If you go around and ask someone of my age do you have any gay friends? they'd probably look at you as if you were some kind of weirdo and tell you God, no!Now, the real big problem. There's one of my classmates – let's call him Joe – who's different from the others. We have many interests in common, we are actually very similar to each other. He is intelligent, the kind of guy you can always talk to, who loves to always learn new things and compare opinions about everything, just like me. That's why after 4 years of school together, he is my best friend.But after some years of seeing each other everyday for five hours a day or more, I started to feel something for him. And after fours years, I actually fall in love with him. Little problem: he's probably straight.I'm trying to tell myself to stop thinking about a future together with him, because there will be no such a future. But still, when I'm with him I'm perfectly happy – I feel like I don't need anything else – and when I'm not with him I get sad or even depressed thinking about my future or about what he could be doing without me.We are probably going to stay together and see each other for quite a long time: we are going to start our last year of school, and then I think we'll go to the same University. This fact on one hand relieves me, but on the other hand makes me worry: I can't lie forever, he's gotta know the truth some day. And how will he react? Will he accept me? If he won't, what will I do? Also, he's gotta have a girlfriend sooner or later (in this time I think he never had one). He'll also get married. And what about me?I also thought that one solution could be distract myself. Of course I would be very happy if I found a boyfriend – other then him. But where and how to find one? I can't go around the city asking guys if they are gay. And I can't shout I'm gay and wait for someone to come because – again – nobody got to know that I'm gay.I tried joining some gay-themed meeting websites, and I have only found (and met) three guys who live near me. I like none of them. So what? What's my future gonna be like? Whenever I ask myself this question I get depressed.That's it. This is my situation. I hope you didn't find this long text boring, and I hope I didn't make many English mistakes since that's not my first language. Thank you for your support.