[Question] I'm afraid to try, could you help me please?

I don't know if I'm posting in the correct place, so forgive me if I'm breaking any rules.I'm married to a woman, we've been married for almost 2 years now, last year I started to have urges to have sex with a guy, I'm the bottom to be precise, I'm not attracted to men, I'm only attracted to their junk, I mean I enjoy watching photos of men genitals online... I know I sound silly, I asked many people some people said that you can be straight while desiring a physical intercourse with a man, some said you are a bi curious and some said you are bi sexual.I don't care about the label to be honest, I'm just afraid that if I tried, my whole life could get upside down, I love my wife and our sexual life is acceptable, so I don't wanna lose her.As a bottom, what do you feel? does it hurt much? will I get this pleasure that I've been dreaming about for the past year? have you had sex with a straight guy and his life didn't get affected?Thank you.