I have no idea what to do about my sexuality.

I was born naturally straight but after my personality developed more and more I saw how incompatible I was with wemon (18 year old now). So a few years back I just came to terms with never being able to have a relationship with a girl, so I had to get my sexual and romantic energy out in some way so I adapted. I kinda taught myself to be gay that is. I am very emotially attracted to men and somewhat physically as well, but I have no idea what to do.How do gays date? How do I know who else is gay? Are there any unspoken rules? I don't know I really just hope to find that one person I really click with but idk where to even look for a gay partner.I'm extremely nervous as well. What happens if I go out with a guy and we head back home and he wants to have sex but I can't bring myself to do it? I have never even kissed a man. if anyone had any similar struggles just tell me what you did, I don't even know where to start.