I need to vent

It's 6 in the morning, and I haven't slept. I'm hoping typing out my thoughts may help, at least a little bit.In my life I tend to ruin any relationship I'm in, especially those with guys. When I date someone it has come down to the point where we screw a handful of times and I lose interest and ignore them. I know I hurt people and in the end I just end up lonely. I don't even know if i'm gay, and that's the scariest part. I had this idea that once I was open about my sexuality that it would be better but it just made things more complicated. I find it difficult to love a guy, and now I'm getting feelings of attraction towards women. I don't know what I want because it's always shifting and it's leaving me a miserable person.I wish that I could be happy with someone but I wreck my relationships. I can't love a guy and I know I'll never have a significant relationship with a girl. I don't feel gay nor straight and it's such an alienating, sad feeling.I'm sorry for my rant and at least this little part of my thoughts being jotted down put me someone at ease. Thanks for listening.