Alone after a difficult thanksgiving. Need a boost. Thanks.

Went home and after I recovered from what was probably a stress related IBS/Lactic/Chrones attack (quite painful) the day after Thanksgiving I got an earful from my mother how I'm a pervert, on dating sites, and should give it all up because I don't know how to love.Oh and apparently she hates me (in a guttural deep way) and was told my brother has been hiding his hate for me (which I don't think is true). This comes a month after I bought my moms house (paid it off) so they don't have payments.No one knows I'm hertro-flex, my brother is gay (open) and I don't want to go down a negative spiral. I am composed now, but need to do some kind of habit, or thing to lessen the pain so I can deal with it.I have weed, but I don't know how to pack it. I drank some tequila on the flight home, helped a little, but I'm open to constrictive anything.I just upped my SSRIs from 100mg to 150mg... but not sure if that will be enough.I don't want my self hatred, angst or anything turn into an acceptance of self harm. Anything constructive is helpful. I will fight through this.Thank you