In love with my subordinate

The problem is that he claims to be straight get he does things that are very opposite. At a co-workers house party we both got hammered and later at night he and were outside "smoking" & he starred babbling about something about nature and how we're both different.I was feeling like he was going to tell me he likes me but that didnt happen but I ended up saying to him"I can't stop thinking about you..... and all I wanna do is kiss you".He looked at me and as if the moment just stood still and tears starting to come down his cheeks and for about 30 minutes we just looked at each other with both teary eyed. He just kept saying "but we can't"Ever since then, it has been awkward and I don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I really love him and it's eating me up.He's 10 years younger then me so it's just all kinds of wrong but why do I feel like this with him, I'm so lost.