Idk.. confused?

Accepting that I'm gay --> Ok check that off the list. Everything else --> Hell to the fk no. Can't tell my family cause for sure cause I know its not Ok. Old school Asian family so that can never happen. Makes me sad that I cant tell my family at all. I just don't want to be shunned. Btw, I can support myself so idgaf about getting kicked out or w/e. I have told a few selected friends and they are cool with it. My main support group I guess. But I had to freaking move cause of my job to the middle of nowhere so sadly I'm alone. Slut phase is over and I'm done sleeping around. Now that I want to find a relationship it seems impossible cause I'm fkin Asian. Strange how the gay community wants to be accepted but then shuns people within it based on race, looks, etc. AND THOSE FKIN APPS ARE SO STUPID. No I didn't want a picture of your dick so please tuck it back inside your pants. You can't even have a normal conversation with a person without them asking for a dick pick or telling you that they are SOOOO horny and want to get down. I'm just not DTF ok? JESUS! Finding a relationship seems like something that a lot of guys just can't seem to do, not just me. I'm not super picky nor am I that bad looking I think (like a solid 6.5/10 on the scale lol). Idk I'm only 24 maybe I can find someone someday. Just kinda feel that everything is against me you know? Ok I'm done lol I feel a bit better if you read up to this point... Gold star for you :D