21 - Feel bad for wanting to meet a guy I like, worried being gay means settling for someone I don't want or being forever alone :/ (Venting)

Hey, 21 year old guy from North East of England here who is struggling with a lot of common problems. All I want is to just meet a guy around my age who isn't super-camp and who I'm reasonably attracted to both physically and mentally - I don't even mean more than just meeting someone like this, knowing they exist is enough right now! Seems to me the common answers thrown up to this kind of thing are either "wait until your older, you're young" (I get it, I do. But don't tell me that's a happy answer right? I have to admit, I have problems with depression and between this and "it gets better" my head wants to explode) and "open your mind". Don't get me wrong, this is solid advice but I don't think I've set my standards too high. I'm not looking for a model - just somebody that I find reasonably attractive around my age - and I DO try to look outside my age range etc. but I can't force an attraction there (it's just my current preference, I'm sorry, I get a lot of anger from older Grindr members about that). I guess a really shitty way of describing it (with pretty much made up numbers) would be that I find about 60% of straight guys attractive, but perhaps about less than 10% of the gay guys I've seen - so ya know, I don't think I have ridiculously high standards when it comes to 'guys' in general. It's all just kind of building up to this feeling that either I have to settle for something I don't want or accept being alone and that's bringing me down a lot - I also feel really bad about not finding emo/super-muscle/chubby types attractive which account for 99% of the gay guys I see online and irl. I really hope this post hasn't offended anybody, I would never put anybody else down and big up to all these folk! Everyone has different preferences... I just feel like I can't have mine :/ Not sure what I'm even asking here, rant over I guess.Kudos for reading.