Anyone else lost a parent? And a bit of question.

Hey guys I'm (29) and lost my mom a few months back. It was very sudden and completely unexpected. We had an...interesting relationship. She had addictions that made her life very difficult and made our life very strenuous as I got older.One thing I'm finding the most difficult is my boyfriend of 2 years...he refused to go to the funeral. He lost his mom 7 years ago and I know it's difficult but I'm the type of person I would of been there regardless if the roles where reversed. Although I don't think he knows but, it's not exactly a secret either, he knows this weighs heavily on my mind and it puts a lot of doubt in our relationship.And it's making it hard for me to move on from losing my mom. I just don't know what to do. I'm complexly I on the fence, I worry about my future with him. I almost feel better off moving on but I do care for him. I do love him. I just can't forgive him right now. What do I do?TL;DR lost my mom very unexpectedly a few months back, boyfriend didn't go and refused to go to the funeral, I'm resenting him and I feel I should move on, but Im not sure because I do care.