Sharing my almost coming out story

Today is my birthday!!! What a perfect day to come out, right? First, sorry for any mistakes in my writing. English is not my first language. Second, sorry it's long. I wrote this during the whole day, since I had the idea of coming out until going to bed (a minutes ago). I just wanted to share my story with someone. Here it is:[15:50] Should I come out tonight? This week I've been watching Please Like Me, an awesome Australian drama-comedy series, and one of its characters, Arnold, who I really love, came out on the day of his birthday. He's a bit older than me, maybe five years older, but it was still on his birthday. Maybe I should do the same? I'm coming back from a trip my family and I just made and I've been thinking about this for the past half hour. I wanna do this, but I don't know. I think they'll accept it easily, but I can't be sure. Should I do this? I wanna find an answer. SHOULD I FUCKING DO THIS?[16:15] I wanna do it. This idea just came in my head when I was on the car and I feel like I should do it. My coming out plans included waiting until I was financially independent but if I come out now I'll have much more time to live a gay life. It would be better to come out now. But should I do this? OF COURSE I SHOULD. Buuut... will I?[18:30] Now we hit the road heading straight to home. Less than one hour to go. Not to come out, but to come home. I'm not so sure I should come out tonight anymore, but I still want it as bad as I wanted before. I don't know exactly what to do.[21:15] My whole family is here. This is definitely NOT the right time to come out. I'm afraid the older ones won't get it right, so I better wait until only my siblings and my parents are here. I can see I won't do this. I want it really badly, but I am such. a. pussy. :([23:30] I wasted the perfect opportunity. My family was gathered to pray for the beginning of the advent and it was The Moment to start talking and say "I want you to know that this won't change anything. This won't change who I am, because I've always been like this, I've just never told you. I am gay and that's it, I was born this way and this is who you've always knew. I'm not something new, I'm just myself. And that is who I am." Of course the advent will go on until Christmas, and we'll probably gather around to pray again soon, so I feel like I should come out in one of these moments. I'm not really into praying but my parents are; they are true Christians (not the homophobic type, although my dad does not really approve homosexuality). So, if I say it during a prayer, they might take it lightly. Like a burden that I wanna let go of. Or a sin that I want forgiven.