Pretty sure my bf finds me disgusting (long)

So long story short, my bf and I have never had a good sex life. We have been together nearly 2 years and literally had sex maybe 10 times. He's been telling me from the beginning he's asexual. So we opened the relationship up. I'm a hyper sexual pure top (he's known this since before we met) and he says he's vers bottom. Now, the only times we've had sex in the last 16 months are I've forced myself to bottom (it causes me a lot of pain and discomfort) and I'm pretty sure he's throwing me a pity fuck. Come to find out today from a mutual friend that they have been sexting hardcore. Like hardcore BDSM, chastity, unsafe kinda stuff within the last few weeks. (The mutual friend doesn't know I didn't previously know) and tbh I'm really upset and angry. I don't care that he's talking to other guys but lying about it, hiding it and me finding this stuff out and also he's been sending literally hundreds of nudes and sexy pics has sort of upset me a bit. I talk to other guys but 90% of the time my bf can either see my phone screen or I tell him about it anyway. I'm super open and expect the same. I have tried talking to my bf a hundred times about fixing our sex life and working on it and all he does is roll his eyes at me and ignore me. Like, the fuck am I supposed to do? I mean I love him enough to deal with this shit and want to build a life together but I'm sort of at a loss of what I should do. He treats the fact that I have a sex drive as an inconvenience and annoying. If he told me he wasn't sexually attracted to me I'd be fine with it like I'm a very open minded kinda guy, we would just figure out a way to work around it.