Reputation destroyed: advice needed

I go to a boys school. Naturally, many boys in my class are smoking hot, but they don't give a sign that they are gay, well except for one.Anyways there was this guy (the one talked about above) i liked really really much in class, and i kinda confessed to him and told him that i liked him. He didn't take it well. Not only rejecting me, but telling his friends about my confession behind my back too (which my friends then revealed to me after i accidentally saw their texts discussing the issue) Obviously I didn't read the gay-straight one sided love thingy in time, and basically, ended up screwing up my reputation in a place i needed to stay in for a few more years.Its been a few months since that confession, and so far, one of my friends has came out to me (totally platonic with him tho, he's too cute for me) ( we r in a boys school btw). What struck me was the way they took it.They could have told me immediately, but they discussed it. I don't know if I should feel proud of them or angry at them for not telling me.When we go out they act normal, but i'm scared if that's just a facade, and the pessimistic side of me is telling me not to trust anyone.I'm also afraid that the entire cohort might know, and then they might treat me differently and stuff. Since next year we will go on to have classes with girls (senior years), my confession may be a weapon to use against me and my reputation....In short, through my first confession, I have been wounded and still have to learn in that shithole of a class ( I bristle everytime they talk about gay topics, or the word gay itself, cus I instinctively link that to them targeting me.)Right now I'm torn between going back to no strings attached sex (which i do once in a while) AND searching for someone in school, even as my reputation lies in shreds (theoretically, the traitor of a friend would have told his friend, which would have told the whole cohort)And i'm a Christian, does being gay make me unworthy of God like what everyone says in church?I feel angry and confused, angry at what my traitor of a friend has done, and confused at how well my friends are reacting to the situation, (i think they're faking it.)Tldr: tried to come out to friend, friend backstabbed me, own circle of friends accept me but idk if they will backstab me or not, and idk if the cohort knows and, if they know, will accept me or not. Same goes for god. I need advice please :( or just someone to talk to, thanks!Disclaimer: I am above the age of consensual sex, at least in my country.