My hemmerhoid Tragedy

So I had something awful happen to me.. I got A hemmerhoid and went to get it removed because it was causing me such a ridiculous amount of pain during sex and even just while standing up. I got the surgery through the military health insurance that I had from my stepfather at the time. In short, I got botched... Like REALLY BAD. it went from a single lapsed external roid to 3. The scar tissue is Immense and makes my hole look like the Demigorgens face from Stranger Things. I'm Super duper tight now. I think I have a serious internal one now too because of... Blood. I went for 1 to get addressed and they targeted 5 in a single surgery. I read that when an "overzealous" hemmerhoidectomy is preformed, the chance of relapse goes up significantly by each other one that was done. Apparently, at most, 2 are supposed to be operated on. I want to sue for malpractice but... It would be a federal case. I can't have sex anymore. It took me from spring 2014 to fall 2015 to fully heal do to Anal fissures. I'd really enjoy some advice but at this I'm not certain what can be done. I don't have health care any longer and I'm still covered under that suture of limitations in my state. Luckily my BF was around Before this all happened to me so he's cool and doesn't act out in any way and we are still happy together. But it does concern me that if we ever Don't work out that I wouldn't even be able to have sex with a new partner.. I Just turned 23 and honestly death seems much more appealing than a lifestlye stolen from me by some bitch who had no idea what she was doing. She even inspected me in the weeks after the surgery with an UNLUBED FINGER. like Fuck I bled for almost 2 weeks. I just wanted to justice. I just want to be fixed and I want my life back. I have to use water to clean up after every movement. I don't even use restrooms that aren't private anymore because of how impossible clean up is after movements. I just would like some help or advice on this issue. The depression brought on by this tragedy has Really taken a toll on me. Like I said, I'd rather be dead than 30 and unable to maintain relationships because of how unusable I am. I hate not being able to Be Me with the Man I Love. Thank you.