What should I do? I don't want to be lonely but going out with my friends is killing me, they are better than me. Any advice?

I am going to make this as short as possible:I am a 28 year old gay male, I am from a small and homophobic town, homophobic parents, most of my childhood, adolescence and and even now as a adult I deal with depression.I have some gay friends (which live in another city) that I met several years ago and a casue of my internal issues I decided stop talking to them, and then I got even more depressed and lonely. 2 Years later I got in touch with them again, because I couldn't handle living in my house around those closed minded people and shitty neighborhood, so I found another job and move out to the city where they live.They have been very nice to me and intoduced me to their friends, so we hang out a lot to their houses and gay clubs, etc, but here's the problem:All of them are in long term relationships, they have their lives figured out, they travel, are out and proud, are professionals, etc. While I have nothing, I've wasted most of my life feeling depressed. I've never had a boyfriend, still studying, still hiding from my family, so I feel horrible when I am with them, like I don't fit there. So, I don't know when feel the worst: alone or hanging out with them.They want me to find a man, but I've tried every freaking dating app without any luck, I'm just average/ugly, not really handsome, so I am pretty insecure about how I look and that make things even worse, I have a crush on a guy at work but nooo way I am going to say anything to him. He is very handsome and I don't think he is into ugly guys like me :(I don't really know what to do, when we go to gay clubs is very awkward, when they dance with their patners and kiss each other While I'm in a corner checking my Instagram, I don't know what to do or where the F I belong.They are very nice and have good intentions, they want to see me happy, but I don't know if this is healthy hanging out with people that have everything that I don't.When we go out I feel 40% great and 60% down.....(We are 9 people 3 gay couples and 1 lesbianas couple).Do the math.