I'm going paranoid right now and I really need to talk to someone.

My situation is extremely complicated. I'm autistic, agoraphobic, I relapsed. The last 5 years or so have been hell. I have severe anxiety disorders from all these issues, and a lot of problems with social stuff so my social anxiety is bad and im kind of crippled in that way.

I am close friends with a guy from an open marriage. WE just met for sex but became really close. He phones me 3 times everyday, and tries to help me through this period of mental illness I am going through. I've never met someone who was able to deal with post traumatic flashbacks before. IT's not just sex now, at all. He loves me as a close friend.

I just saw he has our dentist on facebook and his dentist is gay and I'm really paranoid they're fucking because this guy is extremely attractive and fit and masculine. The dentist on facebook is following gay pornstars, lol. My friend isn't much for facebook so I don't know why else he would have his dentist on facebook since he only has family ans close friends or some random work related things.

And the reason i get this insecure besides my anxiety disorders is because we had a very spontaneous group sex session that ended up with me pretty emotionally fucked up back when we first met. I ended up watching him and his friends all having sex. I an emotionally damaged. I felt so left out, unimportant, useless, just another dick, disposable, replacable. He's trying to help me work through it. He says he doesn't have sex with anyone but me, even his husband. (I suspect there were some issues between them which led them to an open marriage which is why the communication was bad which lead me to a situation with a bad group sex experience, I think.)

That lead to severe jealously issues because he is close friends with the people he had group sex with while I watchced. Those friends can visit, and they're all really close. I just sort of stay home suffering with agoraphobia and severe anxiety disorders and PTSD everyday while they can enjoy eachother's company...in a platonic way and intimate way if they chose...but he said they're not having sex so it calms me down.

I know i'm being crazy, but I'm afraid I'm not. The reaction in my body is not normal, the level of anxiety feels like it's caused by a chemical reaction. I really am not well. Having to deal with a group sex experience gone wrong is just creul and insane.

Right now I just need someone to tell me I'm being crazy. It's just, this guy is really good looking and after the gorup sex going wrong and I had to watch guys have sex I can become really paranoid and insecure. I mean the dentist thing on his facebook is a really bothering me right now. Am I being crazy or what?

Thanks. I'm a bit shaky, sorry if the grammar is weird. Please help me.

And I wlil do the obvious and talk to him about it, but he's visiting his parents for CHristmas in another province right now so I can't actually talk to him.

Oh and the reason why I was on his facebook wasn't to snoop on him...I just really missed him and I have no pictures of him. I spend Christmas away form my family too. And then I go a bit nuts. We're ina rural town too...if that matters. there's not may gay people here. I can't believe this is happening on CHristmas...

tl;dr I have severe jealousy issues, I am self aware of this but I have dificulties dealing with it. It stems from a group sex experience gone wrong, and the fact I can't be friends or be intimate with my significant other's friends. My SO is in an open marriage so it's really complicated.

I saw he has a really extremely gay guy on his facebook friends list and now I'm paranoid that they're fucking and I need people to help me be not crazy, because I know I'm crazy but I can't stop the weird feelings.

lol that was a logn tl;dr, sorry, thank you anyone who reads through this for reading at least.

ugh and he's a dentist too, i can't imagine how great it would be ot fuck someone wiht money. I'm poor as shit on disability. i should point out I haven't slept in over 24 hours which might explain some of the crazy.