Hi. I've basically avoided bringing this up anywhere until now, but it's getting to a point I need to tell somebody. For a while now, I've been struggling with my identity. First and foremost, I am primarily attracted to women. I desire relationships with women, crush on girls at school, you know. I have no actual attraction to any males I actually know.Since I was very young, I tortured myself over whether I could ever be attracted to other men. This year, it started to manifest in the form of looking at gay porn, masturbating to it and then feeling disgusted with myself, and repeat.I've also become interested in transgender stuff, specifically becoming a feminine boy, basically a girl but still with a penis. Partly out of sexual fantasy, yes, but some part of me just wants to live life as a woman. A lot of other parts of me are disgusted with that idea.I don't know what I am. I'll try to sum it up: I am having a lot of self-conflict lately, because I've been frequently masturbating to gay content, more so than straight porn lately. I sort of have sexual fantasies with other men I want to try out at some point, maybe even have a boyfriend. I also frequently consider becoming a "femboy" (I don't know if that's the appropriate term, sorry). But at the same time, I want to be straight and masculine.Has anybody else dealt with this? Does it make sense over time, or what?Sorry if this is poorly written. My mind is all over the place right now and I'm pretty tired.
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