It's been 7 months since I realised, it's been about 5 months since I've accepted it and supposedly 1 month since I've gained someone I can be happy about.Coming out seemed somewhat easy, at least compared to what other people go through in terms of unaccepting family and/or friends. I just had the internal battle, everyone else seemed cool with it.Now I'm uncomfortable again and I'm supposed to be happy. I've been with what seems like the most amazing guy for 1 month, but now something is bothering me. He recently told me that he's only let 3 other guys top him and it was uncomfortable enough for him to not want to try it again. So yeah, he will probably never bottom for me.I consider myself somewhat versatile and will probably mostly adjust to my partners preference. I have no desire of being in a dom/sub relationship, I want to be with someone who considers me as their equal. I'm ok with sexual preferences and could probably do 1 thing more depending on what my partner wants, but the thought of never being able to top this guy is killing me. I might be younger, but I'm a man with a penis too so why shouldn't I get to use it once in a while?I wouldn't want to change someones prefered sexual position, but is it so wrong that I want a compromise once in a while so I can feel equal? In my mind it's ridiculous that he would expose me to something he doesn't want done to himself at all, it just doesn't seem fair. I know topping shouldn't necessarily make one feel superior to the other, but let's be real, it's kind of a dominant position especially if you claim to strictly top. You see how that goes against my wish for an equal relationship?You could tell me how bottoming can be dominant or how it's totally okay to strictly bottom, but I already know this, it just doesn't fit me (which is why this is more of a rant than a shout out for advice). I'd like to do both and the feeling of predicting an end to what seems like the perfect relationship is killing me. I can live with this for a while, but eventually It'll be too much for me to bottom everytime and I'll have to say bye and hunt for someone who's more versatile... AND THAT'S FUCKING SCARY BECAUSE I'VE REALLY FALLEN FOR THIS GUY!It makes me sick to my stomach, I can't believe I've even been considering ending it, because ending such a great emotional bond over something as superficial as sex seems ridiculous, but in reality I know it will be an issue worth ending it over. I have little hope of him wanting to bottom for me, but I also know that some guys change this over time (I usually lurk here on another account), so it doesn't seem completely hopeless, yet... it kind fo feels hopeless.I'm happy when I'm with him and time flies, but then when I have alone time I'm stuck in a stream of negative thoughts (I'm an introvert, dont' tell me to stop overthinking it, I can't) like this. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, please help?
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