Was'happenin playas?
This week, I discovered my (straight, homophobic- but kind of insensitive) brother is on Grindr. I recognised his headless body (he has a third nipple, which is like a criminal having a scar over his eye).
I have also discovered that he sends very aggressively sexual messages to guys "Come and suck me, etc") and I'm struggling to get my head around what is happening. I'm feeling quite angry that I felt so alone when I was dealing with this, but he's out touching willy. Those kind of guys really put me off grindr- I had a sex-crazy phase at uni, but now I like the conversations with nice chaps.
I don't know if you realised this, but there's a big holiday happening right now which is forcing me to be in a room with him for ages.
Do I mention it to him? Am I homophobic now? I hope not because I love me some Luke Evans and I don't want to hate myself for that.
EDIT: I've done some thinking and I've maybe come to a conclusion as to why it bothers me so much. I have a right-leaning family, politically and none of them are too great with homosexuality. I've worked hard to make sure I could one day maybe change their views on it- if they see me in a stable relationship, happy, successful, whatever- I can show them a world where gay people aren't out to "destroy families" or that love between two men is real, not "just lusting". Don't get me wrong, I'm not living my life to please them, I just hoped to show them that it isn't evil or dirty, or anything. My brother entering this world as a sex-crazed guy, only out to sleep with guys is like a punch to the gut of my thing. Like he's showing the world they actually fear. I know it sounds childish and I'm sorry for being so dickish about it. To add- I love my family and they're really nice people, but they're old-fashioned and stubborn about some things.
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