I'm bi, but don't like the thought of 2 men?

Long post ahead.Alright this is just weird for me. I've came from being straight, to some sexual fantasies, to actually considering of trying to be with a guy. So far, I don't know how I feel about a relationship with a guy. However, sexually, I am really turned on by the thought.It's just, I can't even watch gay porn. It's usually either straight porn, depending on my mood I watch the guy, or transsexual porn. Even thinking of 2 guys going at it. I'm usually the guy that says "whatever floats your boat" and I mean it. I don't care what 2 people do, as long as it's consent, non violent and doesn't cause problems for others.I know this may be deemed as normal, I've read countless online forum posts. I even have the "after I ejaculate I'm straight syndrome". As I'm anonymous, pretty much, I'll go into detail.I was nearly sexually fondled as a child. My father left me in Kansas with a friend while we were trying to move. He was a homosexual. However, he had a thing for... kids. He tried desperately to be with me without force, I was to young (12?) to know what to make of it. Now, bring 23 years old, I fantasize about it, what if I went through.About 3 years ago I actually met a transsexual and was about to have intercourse with her, but I chickened out. I regret that too. I just do not know who I am. I came from being a gangster (literally, a whole different story), to a game programmer, to someone who can tear apart a car and have so much fun. I literally do not know who I am in life, sexually and career wise. And to make matters worse, a year ago I was in a car accident and been incapacitated due to internal bleeding, broken bones, etc.. And with all this time, I can't even determine. I've had to lose my girlfriend, my job, my house, everything, to live with my supportive father, who accepts homosexuals, and I can't even talk to him about it!Who am I? I know I can only say who. I don't have much friends, the few who I do have, I can not talk about this. They're old work buddies, where I will be (hopefully) returning to soon. So I am here.Sometimes I just want to switch roles with a women. I just can't think of 2 guys going at it, sexually, although that's what I fantasize about. Oh dear God I am going insane.