Can't form relationships with straight men...

Hi. I'm a gay man and I've found that for most of my life I've never been able to form a close relationship with any straight men. I notice a lot of gay men are friends with straight guys but for some reason I've never been able to form those relationships. I was bullied in school and I suppose that's when I started making friends with girls. I don't consciously dislike straight men and I've tried to get to know some but something just always feels off. I suppose this might stem from a subconscious fear of social rejection which I experienced a lot as a child due to my "flamboyant" nature. What am I doing wrong? Is this normal? How can I fix this shit. I don't hate straight men and I'd love to get close with them I just don't know how. Tired of feeling like an outsider everywhere I go...