Long time lurker. I have a question about my curiousity.

Hello all! I've been on reddit for a little bit now. However I never really do anything except lurk...however I'm hoping I can still get some...idk, insight/help with understanding who/what I am. My whole life I've never had a hard time getting women. I'm charming, fairly attractive, intelligent (at least, I'd like to believe I am) and funny. I love women. I've been with over 30 of them. I find them to easily be the most beautiful things on this planet. I can truly only see myself with a woman for the rest of my life and be completely happy.That being said...im extremely submissive, I love being told what to do, being shown how to please, doing whatever I can to make the other feel good...I've been fucked by five guys in my life...so far. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon...I love being pounded, owned, felt like I have no control in being fucked and bred by a big, husky daddy...I'm a petite guy, 5'6, 120 lbs hairy Puerto Rican, 27 years old. I love the whole daddy/son roleplay and can go for hours. oh my god the feeling of being filled...It's indescribableNoone knows about this in my life. I'm extremely discreet and hide this from everyone I know. I mostly go through craigslist/a4a.com. (clearwater, fl...btw XD...adam4adam is mmmtasty6969 I am std free and frequently get checked out)But its only when i get in the "mood" so to speak...i often jerk off to straight porn. But every now and then i go to certain gay porn sites and cum like ive never cum before. The mood is rare. It could be a year before i feel like getting fucked. But when i get that urge, Its almost impossible for it to go away on its own...i NEED it...cock, cum in me...I am not attracted to men, not physically other than their cocks...I fucking love cocks. 6in, 7in, 8in...size doesn't matter. It's the only thing I like about them...I hate most of them mentally, I love cock, I love cum.What's up with me? Am I gay? Bi? I don't believe I'll ever be able to be in a relationship with another man. I do not see myself as gay...but this shit is confusing! Any input I could get on this would be very much appreciated. It's been running through my mind for years with no answer.