The lie of the bear community

So I'm a bigger guy. Not like 600lbs, but definitely out of shape. I definitely am attracted to bigger guys, so I joined grommr thinking there'd be some dating potential there that I may not find on grindr or Ok cupid.I was wrong. There's just as much narcissism and shallowness in that community. There's tons (pun semi-intended) of chubby twinks who vie for all the attention and affection of that community, and those of us who are average-looking are left in the dust.I guess I'm just sick of feeling alienated and not fitting in anywhere in this so-called "gay community". I'm not pretty or skinny enough to be in the mainstream. I'm not the 'right' kind of fat to be in the bear/gainer scene. I'm just in this purgatory of mediocre appearance, and wishing something other than looks would be counted in the world of gay dating.Hoping someone else feels this way...