Drunk and NEW

So long time fan of the sub. I broke up w/ my ex-gf like a month ago. Was a nice relationship just didn't work out.Maybe this should go in /r/bisexualAnyway.I'm 38, trying so hard to come to grips with my bi-gay sexuality. Saying that, I am horrified about hitting the local gay club.Being open minded my life, I had lots of gay friends and in college use to visit this club often as the DD and "oh lol he's the straight friend" kinda guyGuess now I'm trying to "open up".. I feel weird on SO many levels.I'm not young, this is a college town. I'm fat lol, aka a BEAR, so 2nd hit and 3rd I'm old... 38 :(Just not sure what to do. Odd thing is, due to my age, I can be more free... no marriage/kids/family, and old enough where well I tried but never hit the mark.So can really try new things.To add more complication, even if a bear. I'm strictly a TOP... I don't mind trying bottom, but I have 0 desire to suck dick. So that makes me feel horrible :(I'd MUCH rather attempt anal than even put a dick near my mouth. So makes me question myself.Fuck... help please ;)