HELP

Ok guys I'm new to Reddit but I guess might as well start now. Anyways Im 20 years old and I haven't really bottomed... Like at all, which is quite alarming considering most other gay guys around me have lost their virginity at an earlier age. I was kind of hoping for some tips (no pun intended). I'm not particularly worried about the pain as much as I am worried about the cleaning part and it doesn't help that I have a hard time talking to other gay guys as it can be rather intimidating. I was almost to the point where I just wanted to create a grinder and lose it on there but I don't think I could go through with it. I'm trying not to think about this too much but all advice is welcome.