Suggest me what to do

I'm a 20yr old guy in the closet...I knew I was gay since 2006 but didn't tell that to anyone till March 2016..I came out to 4 friends...they are understanding and supportive...but I don't like to disturb them a lot with my insecurity...and of course everyone has their own life so I can't expect them to be there for me whenever I feel low...cos I feel low and bad like everyday and it gets worse after 6pm...and also i don't wanna seem very vulnerable and so dependent on them...but at the same time I want someone who I can always rely on...I tried dating too but they are interested only in sex...one of the friends i came out to is my crush...i am actually in love with him...when i came out i also asked him if he was..he said he is straight..so i figured telling him abt my crush would do no help..so im not gonna tell him...i kinda put all my happiness on him...now thats a dead end...and I am not out to my parents yet...and they don't understand these stuffs...and they think being gay is a disease...I don't wanna hurt them..I even made a plan of telling them once I'm financially independent..I would move out to place half away across the hemispheres where I can live freely.. It would take another 3/4years...but I really need someone to support me..I had a few suicidal thoughts...do i keep approaching my friends or start dating again and look for someone who understands what I need? Sorry for such a huge text..but I really have to get it out...thanks for reading till here