[Sad rant] Why do I torture myself?

Why can't I accept that no one will ever love me? Honestly, nobody ever could. I'm just not good enough.Why can't I just stop trying to find someone? It's never going to happen.Yet I still keep deluding myself.I wish I were asexual, so I wouldn't have to worry about getting with somebody, and just worry about finding friends? I don't have any of those either.The depression is never going to go away, the anxiety is never going to leave, so why the fuck do I even bother?In just 13 years I'll be 30. That's too late to get into a relationship.These are supposed to be the best years of my life. It's too bad I have to experience them all alone.I have no one, and that's how it will always be.Sorry to waste your time.