Gay with no confidence .. falling in love

When I was young I though I will be alone all my life, people do care about how you look and I was extremely ugly. When I got to 18 I signed up to gay dating site and the interest I got was unreal, so I went from relationship to relationship .. I wasn't thinking about myself but about other guys and always felt nice that somebody loves me. I don't think I was ever in love. At the moment I am out of 6 year relationship and started dating again. Signed up to grindr. I live in small town in Ireland, far from big cities and I thought there are no guys around. But there are like 100s of them and seems like every single one messages me. I was again, overwhelmed by response and decided I will change my way of dating, and only meet guys that seem perfect for me. The ones I want to meet. I went on few dates and was always told I look amazing and 100 times as good as on photo. Anyway whatever I do, I struggle with being confident. I don't see myself as attractive or interesting person (although I am good in heart and friendly) and it does lots of damage to me. One thing is knowing about my lack of confidence but it is hard to deal with it. The first thing I tell guys is that I am not hot and they should not expect that. I know its wrong.Few days ago I met fella, I thought he is totally outside of my league, but I gave it a try, and after few days going out .. we kissed. I feel like finally in my life I am going out with somebody I really want to. It's not love or anything, we have known each other for only a while, but I get big smile and butterflies in my stomach even thinking about him. It is crazy and I've never felt like that. I'm 28 - old enough to know this feeling. Anyway, my message to whoever bothered to read this is do not be with somebody only because they like you, be with somebody you like, it is worth it. Wish somebody told me that when I was 19 :)