Sexually confused?

I'm writing this post for every guy or girl who's feeling weird/is having troubles with their sexuality.This is my story, it doesn't have an ending yet, but this is what happened in the last years because of my sexuality. I never had a real idea of what love was, I thought a man could love a woman only, because that's the world I've been put in, a world made out of guys loving girls, and families, and children and everything that was 'traditional'. When I was 9 I had a huge crush on a girl, I wanted to kiss her, to be her boyfriend, I had no idea of what sex or sexuality were but I did liked her. Today we're friends, and I still feel kinda awkward when she's around, not because I have feelings for her, but just because of our past. When I told her I had a crush on her, she told me that she liked me too, but as a friend. (Yes, I got friendzoned when I was 9) It's hard to explain it, buteven when I was in love with her, I felt really weird everytime a guy was around. It was easier for me to talk to a girl rather than a boy, and not because I hated boys, not at all. Every time a guy hugged me, I feelt this weird sensation of "I don't want you to stop". It might be hard to understand, but even when I was really young, I liked boys, I always did, I had no idea of what lgbt was, I just knew that, I knew that I wanted to walk around holding hands with a guy, that I wanted to kiss a guy, to take care of him, live with him and that I wanted to love him. This one day, I saw a guy kissing another guy on TV, I felt so weird. So I asked my mom, and she explained to me, that those guys were gay. I finally knew how to label myself, and it was amazing. For a lot of years I was all rainbows, glitter, naked guys, unicorns, and all that gay shit. And the most important part I was crazy for boys. Whenever a guy wanted to do something with me, I agreed. I didn't care if he was gay, bisexual, straight but curious, if he was 12 or 25, if he was closeted or not, I didn't care, I just cared that he had a penis between his legs. It might look beautiful to be such an open minded person, well I was wrong. I exposed my body to a bunch of guys just because I felt I had to. I was a living stereotype, I was the gbf, I wanted to go to prides, I wanted to have sex with as many guys as I could. But I never had a real relationship. Well, this one day, I met a guy, from high school. He told me he was gay and we started to date. I really didn't want to, I didn't like him, he wasn't my type, when I kissed him I liked it, but I felt no sparkle. I was his boyfriend just because I thought that was what I had to do. One day, I told him what was really going on, and we broke up. I acted like that, I did what I did, because I had no "gay model" to follow, and if you type "gay" on Google Images you'll see what was the environment I lived inside of. It was summer, and I felt something changing inside of me, I felt I was growing up, I felt like I was in a whole new world, the real one. I didn't want to do what I did, I didn't want to give my naked body to those who didn't care about my naked soul. I didn't want to be the gay best friend, to go to gay parties, to be a gay person. I just wanted to be me. Who you want to love shouldn't change who you are.So I got to this whole, confusing phase of "Hey, maybe I'm bi?" but I didn't like girls, I thought I was asexual, but I wanted a boyfriend. I felt so weird, I didn't know how to define myself, well, this post goes to whoever feels this way.Hi, I know how you're feeling, you're not alone. Everyone, even those who know what they want, have passed through this questioning phase. It's okay. Don't rush it, you have nothing to worry about. Be yourself. Look at yourself and figure out, whose body drives you crazy? Whose lips do you want on your mouth? Who do you want to sleep and wake up with. You don't need to put any labels on yourself. When I say that I don't like labels people think that it means that I'm a sexually opened person, but that's not what it means. It just means that my sexuality doesn't change who I am and it's quite possibly the less interesting part about me. And that's okay, just follow your path. Always remember, it's not all black and white. When I see a beautiful girl I'm like "damn that chick looks good" but nothing else, it's normal to recognize when someone of the same/opposite sex is good looking. It doesn't define your sexuality. If you're in this situation, it's because you're a curious person, and it's fine, curiosity is something human, but sexuality goes over your head. It's all about your heart and your body, and the way you feel. I've met plenty of guys with different sexualities, bi-curios straight/gay guys, panromantic asexuals, and it's okay, as long as you do what you want to. One day, when you less expect it, you'll find that special someone, and you're gonna be like "Wow, I get it, I finally get it." and you'll care only about that person. Don' worry, be honest with yourself, if you've born straight, you'll die straight, if you've born gay, you'll die gay. I know it is hard, I know it might scare sometimes, but it's normal. Just have a healthy life, hang out with your friends, focus on school, spend time with your family, everything will be okay.(P.S. Sorry for my broken english :c)