Just wanted to share, I guess ^^

So, ya know, sometimes when you have a story you just have to share. Even if no one reads, I wanted to get it out.I guess I should start off with a little about myself. I've got social anxiety and extremely poor self-esteem. This has made it really hard to meet guys. I've had quite a few who have been interested in meeting up but I've always declined because I felt way too insecure and nervous.So yeah. I've had one proper boyfriend who I dated for 3 years and he was also the only guy I've ever had sex with. Including him, I'd only kissed 2 guys in my life. The thought of meeting a guy and him wanting to even just kiss me terrifies me beyond belief because I'm scared that I won't kiss well or the guy will get turned off or something. Hence, I hate when guys message me just asking for sex or whatever (on Grindr. I don't know what I expected tbh :P).Anyway! That was long enough so I suppose I should tell the actual story. Friday morning I ended up seeing this picture of a really cute guy on Grindr. I had seen him around before and didn't want to message him because, to be honest, he is extremely good looking and so far out of my league. That, coupled with the fact that I never start the message with guys because I'm too scared to, meant I was just sitting there looking at the photo. Eventually I just though "Fuck it. If he ignores me so what. He's not going to message me if I don't start it."So literally a minute later he replied and I was just thinking "woah, sweet!" And then we get talking and it turns out this guy is actually incredibly sweet and interesting and he's actually a little nerdy too which is, like, amazing. We had quite a bit in common. Then he asks me if I'm free that night because he's in the mood for some drinks and dessert. I just couldn't say no. I was so scared but I told him that I would definitely be there.So we end up going out and having a really good time. Like, usually I struggle to speak to people because I don't know what to talk about and I assumed I'd only be hanging out with him for an hour or so. Turns out, we actually spent a good 3 hours sitting there talking to each other. I was so happy.And then he invited me to his house for wine. I said "yes". It's a bit awkward but I didn't even hesitate. I wanted to spend more time with him. So we end up going back to his and we're drinking wine and eventually, ya know, we're on his bed and just cuddling and I'm playing with his hair. It was so awesome. And he leaned over and kissed me. I was thinking "what if I'm doing it wrong" but he kept kissing me. And it was the best kiss I've ever had (not that I have a large sample to compare it to but it felt amazing )As expected, clothes eventually came off and we ended up messing around for like 30/45 minutes. It was really long and I was having tons of fun. He told me that he's never wanted someone as bad as he wanted me (even if it wasn't true, holy crap my confidence went up noticeably x-x ^)Afterwards we ended just hanging out in his bed looking at his photos and stuff and I ended up staying the night. I really loved the feeling of waking up next to someone, more so with a gorgeous guy who's interested in the same stuff I am. Ended up going home and having my parents laughing at me (we're really open about a lot of stuff and since I told them wasn't coming home from the date and I had a noticeable hickey they put 2 and 2 together :P) it was actually a really good feeling. Honestly, it's one of the best weekends I can ever recall. I would think it were a dream if I couldn't still see the hickey.Anyway, I don't even think my story has a point. I just wanted people to see it. Hell, maybe it does have a point. I've been way too scared to do anything. Like, ever. I'm the type of person who will start shaking and sweating at the thought of meeting people I don't know well. Hell, I still feel awkward meeting people I do know well. But I just... Put myself out there. Because nothing's going to happen if I sit around and wait. I can't even begin to describe how amazing this experience was for me.Thanks for reading this massive wall of text! x-x ^^And sorry for any poor formatting, on my phone. :P