Just wanted to vent

I think about leaving my parent's home a lot. To be honest, I should've been out years ago since I'm about to be 25 soon. But I had some psychological troubles and fell behind in college. I've turned into sort of a loser. If I left now, I wouldn't know what to do or where to go. I'm kind of dorky and naive, so I don't think I would last long.But for a short while in the past, I was happy and felt empowered. It was back when I finally accepted myself as being gay. I fought with my folks a lot back then and almost got thrown out a lot. They still deny that I'm gay and don't talk about it anymore. But I didn't care. I was finally being myself and having fun. I was exploring a part of myself that I had held in for a long time.But I started having mental issues again and quit college and my job. I mostly stay at home now with homophobic parents. I don't even invite my friends over because of how suspicious my parents are of them. I'm afraid that my dad would get physical if he found anyone LGBT in his house. Hell, he almost beat me into the ground when I first came out to them.I guess I'm writing because I'm just a bit frustrated with my situation. I'm stuck in a house where I have to play ball and act straight so I don't provoke my parents. I don't have a job, my car was totaled and I have to take meds to stay calm. There's a lot wrong with my life and I don't really know where to start fixing it. And part of me thinks that if I found a boyfriend than it would makes things better, but I take it since I probably shouldn't be in a relationship unless I got my shit together.I just need someone or something to get me out of this funk. My parents think God is my answer, but I've never been very religious. Lol, I don't know what to do with myself. But yeah, I just needed to vent.