What Im Really Thinking

My parents will ask me "How are you" and ill always give them the same short answer of "Im good", but really, Im not. Im not because im different and wish that I was like everybody else. Im not, im gay and my parents know it, they know it and don't accept it. In fact, they've tried to change it, taking me to counseling through our church and a lot of prayer. They think im going through a "change" but im not, and im dying inside. I have great friends and they make me smile, god theyre great, but when I think about my wedding day or dinners, I want my family to be there too. My parents are super christian (don't get me wrong, I am too, and not all christians are like this, but my parents just arent open minded) and confine me in our house, hoping ill stay my ground and change... The reason I write this is because im in that simping moment (that time at night when you get all emotional) and today wasnt such a great day. My mom had a terrible day, and when this happens, my parents question me and think im doing something "sinful" that causes us to have bad days... Right now i just realized i couldn't really talk to anyone about it... so im typing it. Im that kid that has a lot of friends and smiles and looks good from the outside... To be honest, i dont like telling people about my struggles and my issues, so id rather pretend im okay. But its good to type here, maybe ill do it more often, as a journal. Im 16 years old My name is Michel