Gay in Arabic country

I don't know why i'm writing this right now. Maybe be cause i'm desperate or maybe be cause my life is getting worse and worse every day.me being a gay guy in an arabic country is not something that i'm proud of. I feel like i'm living in a society of hypocrite people, a society where i should play the game, their game of heterosexual stereotypes and putting a mask every day be cause i'm not like them . I don't wanna change nothing in the mentality of the people I just wanna live my life as a normal kid. Right now i wish i could kill myself be cause my dad knew about me and wish me to go to hell and die.