Anyone wanna call me out on my BS?

First of all if you’re in a good place and not wanting to read something that is at all negative please feel free to ignore. Oh, before you go ! Check out The Alienist on Netflix, it’s awesome. Ok now feel free to go.But if not I was wondering if anyone was interested in calling me out on some bullshit. I’ve been going through a rough spot. My therapist has helped me see the script that runs with my anxiety, from trauma, the urgency of it, and she also suggested it’s the mindset of the isolated head space of the kid I was at the cluster fuck of school.James Baldwin said that when he was younger one of the reasons he had to get out of the US and go to Paris for a while, was because the abuse he got as a black man caused him to start abusing himself, he realised he had started treated himself that way and he needed to do something.I know I need to find love inside me and compassion, and a place for my pain, but I know I need to be aware of the stories that run through my mind in anxious times. And they may involve truths or half truths to be persuasive. Such as:People hate me, or find me annoying or weird.I’m unattractive, unloveable and no one will want me (I know beauty is relative but feel free to look at my past posts to see me, but I know the attractiveness is hugely about courage, humour, kindness, curiosity, openness, confidence)I’ll never be able to act or find work that I really love.The guys I like are nearly all straight so I’m doomed to like people who won’t like me back.Straight guys are simply more attractive, and gay guys look different and less attractive ( this is a voice in my head, my rational mind doesn’t think it) 6 there are not enough gay guys for me to find one I’ll click with.I want to fill my life with stuff I care about, people, movies, creativity, ideas, I don’t want to obsess over this stuff all the time.So please call me out on my bullshit. Just writing it down helps me see the holes in it. And that I can work on what I can offer OTHER people, not just what they can give me. And be compassionate to others. And maybe to move forward I can say, fuck it maybe some of its true but go forth and do what ya can to be fulfilled.Thanks in advance I guess.Sean