Feeling emotionally exhausted and done, looking for some advice.

Over the last few months, I've been going through a lot of personal sh*t recently screened for ASD (Aspergers) so I've been thinking a lot about it and sorting things out to help me move on in life.I'll start with when came out when I was 24 I've not dated any guys IRL but had a few guys get uncomfortably clingy with me on apps and I stopped chatting to them pretty quickly. I'm having a hard time putting myself across and a hard time processing a lot of my own emotions, feelings and understanding them at times I'm not sure if it's me or if it's them.An example of this was about 5 months back I was talking to this guy online I became very attracted to him and thought we were connecting pretty well, we'd been flirting or at least it was how I was reading it for about 2 months, eventually, I plucked up the courage at that time to tell him that I had a crush on him I didn't expect anything at all so to my surprise he said he felt the same way it felt too good to be true.The conversation got intimate pretty fast from the get-go and I was enjoying it, usually, I'd cut it out or slow it right down but it seemed too fast for me after about a week in of officially confirming that we liked each other, I nearly backed off, something felt a bit off and I was getting a bit overwhelmed by it all. When I told him he was pretty understanding, respectful and didn't seem bothered at all about me backing off and the intimacy of the conversation wasn't an issue to him.I decided to continue to chat with him over the month we initiated cam chat and started to get to know each other well enough to bring up about the possibility of meeting each other. The convo was going on as usual but I panicked I started to feel I was getting too clingy somewhat asking for reassurance all the time and I needed to take a step back and I thought he was somewhat flaking on me by now.I couldn't really make much of it tbh I had a hard time reading between the lines and had to ask for a friends opinion. I went out for a few drinks with family night before I got home to sleep on it and felt emotionally crap he'd been on my mind all that day I felt I needed to be clear and honest about what I was looking for and some personal things I wasn't ready to disclose beforehand I felt it was time. The following morning I wrote this big OTT essay. I feel needed to get straight to the point and past all the flirting with and be honest I also wanted to know what he wanted too. I find it is the best way for me put myself across and for others to be the same way with me.After all that essay I managed to hit the send button and expected it was going to be the end of what we had going on usually I wouldn't be so moved by a reply but all I got was "All the above is fine, don't worry yourself." I took it for what it was and settled with it and felt relief we could continue. We briefly spoke after this but the flaking continued, after that, he disappeared for a week went offline and ghosted me.Messaged twice no response, eventually replied he wasn't feeling well needed some time away, didn't want to speak to me or anyone. I was concerned but kept my distance I thought I had upset him after a few weeks dropped him a message with some assurance I was there for him and if he needed to talk and decided to hit him up with a friend req on facebook assuming it wasn't an issue. I got blocked, pretty much was the red flag that was shaded for some time became a reality and I took it pretty hard on myself and started the process of trying to move on from it all I was really gutted. Eventually a few days later he told me he led me on and wasn't ready for any commitment anytime soon it was him and not me and wished he hadn't said anything at the start he wasn't clear on the exact reason. I didn't know what to believe at the time but I apologised to him because I felt was partly to blame, Just a speculation but maybe I didn't respect his space...The point of this that I have been dropping off the radar recently I've not felt ready to talk to other guys simply because I don't do well in these situations and what happened around 5 months ago and as silly as it sounds I cannot find myself getting deeply and emotionally into a guy like that again. I let a crush become a crush and became too overwhelmed with it all at the end. I wish it had gone differently between us I still have a brief thought about him and get a bit down in the dumps.What would you suggest, best ways to approach some guys, is flirting from the get-go a bad sign? I sometimes fail to understand certain contexts and misinterpret things, I tend to want to take things snale pace slow is this good or a bad thing? and ways to tell common red flags?Thanks for taking the time to read and replies are much appreciated.