Will i be alone forever?

Hi fellow redditors, for the starters i'm a 23 yr old gay guy & i'm not from U.S . My childhood & adolescent was all f**ked up, thanks to my infidel and abusive father, and no he was never inebriated while he used to beat my mother and even tried to kill my elder sister because he wanted a male as his first child. I hate calling him my father and it's a very long list of his tyrannies that he bestowed upon us, but, thanks to my super brave mother that she fought back and never ever had even a speck of fear of him. Anyways, it's not about him, but, yes he definitely has a major roleplay in shaping my personality.So, while growing up i have had always been the centre of attraction for everybody and my entire class used to tease me & call out names. To be honest i never had any friends because nobody tried to understand me. Whenever i use to get close to someone my mind quickly triggers this overwhelming undercurrents throughout my whole body and i get goosebumps, it kinda signals me that that person could betray me later on, so, i quickly part my ways.I live in my own fantasy world and as a kid i used to find my muse in movies and dance as it made me felt so good & i used to forget all the worries and tensions that i had & it still is very powerful. If you meet me in person then you'll find me very sweet and intelligent as i can talk about plethora of different topics. Also, i'm a hopeless romantic kinda guy and quite a few people have told me that i'm too good for this world( a sweet summer child).I generally don't approach people first & in social gatherings i feel like an an anomaly and i can feel my vibe to be different from that of others around me. I'm a person who loves unusual & unpredictable things, like take the example of social gathering, once, i went to a wedding of one of my father's friend and i was 14 at that time. I got quite bored and felt like barfing so i went outside & while strolling in the dark i reached to a splendid park and as soon as i entered i saw few stray dogs playing around and having their gala time, i literally felt so overjoyed and since childhood i had this thing with animals specially dogs. Those dogs saw me and quickly came to me wagging their tails incessantly and then i started playing with them, careless about the dark and any kind of threats. I had this boom box with me so i turned it on and played my favourite movie dance song and danced to every beat of it & those dogs too kinda started enjoying the music and did dance around me.All in all i'm a super sensitive soul and to add a cherry on top i'm a scorpio who never tolerates bulls**t from anyone. I have these two sides where one is fierce and rebellious while the other one is full of love, care & chastity.I know y'all might think that i'm mentally ill but it's far from the truth. It's just that i don't want to be alone anymore, i haven't been into any relationship let alone sex. I really don't know what to do? I have high aspirations and i am a very ambitious person, but now i want to follow my dreams alongwith someone who understands me, respects me for who i am & most of all is a good human being. I want someone who can see relationship past sex & the one who can make my heart say hallelujah. So, should i look for relationship or should i do my business and let it happen on it's own, organically?