I keep falling in love with my best friends

I'm a pretty ordinary guy. Not feminine or anything and I mostly hang out with male friends. I'm in the closet and I keep falling in love with my best friends... I fall in love way too quickly so when anyone is kind, makes me laugh and feel appreciated I instantly turn heads over heels in love.Problem is it hurts the friendship as I get too high expectations, become super jealous and turn toxic. I get so mad and sad and hurt but I cant say anything since it would hurt the friendship.So I just try to survive and wait for the feelings to fade... then its the same over again with someone new. Its an endless circle and it hurts so much..What do I do?