bottom sadness

hey guys this may be melodramatic but im feeling blue because something so stupid. ima normal guy, i have my own issues like everybody, anxiety is my nemesis and some insecurities too. but ima normal guy, i guess.grindr is so fun sometimes ive met great boys there, amazing sex and some friends too. well i dont use it very much but when i do i have good experiences, BUT today i met a boy who made me feel like shit. not him. everybody started ok I knew him before and idk he was normal and physically attractive, we had chemistry and good foreplay. but i felt so frustrated when i met his thing. so big and yeah i like it but he was so fast at trying to settle in that i went lazy and with no energy. we werent at the same rythm plus he was a bit SMELLY what i use like a excuse to giving up and go.how u do it guys i need tips to not make it awkward and also how to take big toys cuz i like it but i go so frustrated and low if i cant make it. i know it sounds like a stupid dilema and yeah it is but i like sex and i want to be good at it.thanks for reading this zhit