What Am I?

Since i was a kid i know that i was gay, but due to the pressure given by the society i stayed in the closet. Later this year i came out to some of my friends but still i wasn't able to mingle with other gay guys and i don't have any gay friends to talk too. because of that i had a hard time communicating with other gay guys so instead of dating I'd prefer to watch porn instead. I've seen lot of things watching porn and stuff but lately i was into FtM fucked by gay guys tho i know those trans man were masculine af but they got vaginas but still i got a hard on and also because of the gay guy sucking his man pussy. I'm now confused what to label myself anymore i wanted to be with a guy someday for sure but being gay is damn hard.