Going soft the first time...

So, I decided I wanted have my first time and just get it all out of the way. I was pretty nervous, and from I've heard the first time usually sucks; boy they are right. I went totally soft during the BJ and couldn't get anywhere near an orgasm. I don't think this means I'm not gay because I know I am and I otherwise enjoyed the experience. The questions I want to ask are:Is this normal and to be expected of a first time?What do I do so this doesn't happen next time?