How can i be content without sex ever?

i’m a 21 y.o gay male, i think i have an attractive face but pretty feminine and VERY thin (5'9 120lbs). i think that’s the reason nobody wants to fuck me. i'm not masculine. i seem like the type that people love to be friends with but not fuck. I've been depressed lately to the point that i can suddenly cry bc i want to have sex and a relationship SO bad. i mean i haven't even kiss any guy yet. it makes me feel like a pathetic loser and i'm actually a pretty confident person, but the fact that nobody wants me is taking a toll on me, and indirectly at my work.So i guess the question is, how can i be content without having sex or being in a relationship, in other words, being asexual. i really want to not think about it but when other people around you have their own loved ones its kinda hard. Is anybody here gay but for some reason is content without having sexual activities? I really want to accept the fact that there's a possibility for me to not find anyone my whole life and die alone but just thinking about it already makes me feel like shit lmao.** and if you're wondering why i ask bc this is a very real possibility for me. i live in a somewhat homophobic country, where so many gays actually pretend to be straight bc of religius reasons, the chance of someone being attracted to a niche type like me is even smaller. and i do have wondered should i change myself into a more masculine person with better body and mannerism, but i love myself enough to not do that (yet)